I don't know why what TAM says here is not obvious to everyone. Before I had my CHL I did politely ask those who, in a public place with other people close by, cursed extensively or played overpowering loud music or read pornography where all could see to please tone it down for the benefit of everyone else in their presence. That behavior IS disturbing the peace, and it is NOT provocation to ask someone politely and with normal volume to stop that behavior while they are in public. A refusal by the one who disturbs the peace or an aggressive response means I ignore the refusal/aggression, and seek a higher authority (store manager, park ranger, cop) if I reasonably can. However, I've never had a situation where the other responded with aggression. Everyone I've asked to "tone it down" has been civil in the situation though not all have ceased their behavior. I do think, therefore, there are situations that would lead me to mentally and physically prepare to deal with an attack.The Annoyed Man wrote:
Second:
- I don't believe that politely asking someone who is offending everyone around them to please not use such language in the presence of children rises to the level of a verbal provocation. Had the OP offered to whup the other guy's butt if he didn't pipe down, THAT would be a verbal provocation. If the OP had called the other guy names and defamed his momma, THAT would be a verbal provocation. But simply asking in a polite manner if the guy could refrain from cussing in the presence of children, that is NOT a verbal provocation in my book, and I don't think a jury would think it was either. In fact, the other guy's loud profanity was a verbal provocation and constituted a disturbance of the peace. It was, in short, illegal behavior.
We have a serious problem on our hands, and it is the degradation and coarsening of our culture. I believe that our approach to it should be independent of whether we chose to carry a weapon or not, and it is independent of whether or not our individual morality is based in a particular religious tradition, or simple common decency. The reason that the culture is degrading and coarsening is that it has no more guardians. Those who used to stand in that gap have died off, and adults today have, by and large, abdicated their responsibility to stand as guardians of the culture. This is part of the larger picture of which one symptom is that only a minority of eligible citizens ever actually vote today. Citizens have abdicated their responsibilities to the body politic and to the culture. And by the way, I am not talking about any kind of western cultural chauvinism. Loud, foul-mouthed, and aggressive punks were deemed unacceptable in ancient Rome, in ancient Athens, in Elizabethan England, in Colonial America, in Ming dynasty Beijing, and in modern Tel Aviv. It is true whether your culture is Christian, Muslim, pagan animist, or Buddhist. It is never acceptable.
I ask myself every day, "If not me, then who?" This does not mean that I am Batman or a ninja. I am not that stupid. None of us is. But if a loud and foul-mouthed lout is making life uncomfortable for everyone around, I am going to register my disapproval. I'm not going to threaten. I'm not going to mad-dog him. But I am going to quietly, and with a smile, ask in a friendly manner if they can mind their language in front of the women and children. I have done this any number of times, and without exception, the offender was a little bit embarrassed, apologized, and they modified their behavior... ...and I thanked them for their cooperation.
This is not a provocation. This is an example of a responsible adult, standing in the gap. Edmund Burke is alleged to have said (there is some historical doubt that he actually did) that all that is necessary for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing. Whether he said it or not, it is true. I'm not trying to toot my own horn. I just think that if more people were willing to speak up when confronted with this kind of behavior, we would see less of it. The fact that we see more and more of it is attributable, in part, to the fact that fewer and fewer people are willing to speak up to gently remind someone that their behavior is objectionable. You may not be able to fight the big picture, like crack addicted mothers who don't mother their cubs, and irresponsible men who abandon their children. But each one of us can, in small ways, contribute to the preservation of culture, and politely asking a profane person to tone it down for the audience's sake is one of those ways. Doing so doesn't make you a Batman wannabe. It makes you a guardian of the culture. That is a good thing.
On the topic of disparity of force, this particular situation has it in spades. The OP is not going to be able to Kung Fu all four guys unless he's Jackie Chan in a movie or the aggressors are horribly inept.