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Return to “Calling the Police on Burglars “Comes from a Place of Privilege””
- Tue Jun 09, 2020 1:33 pm
- Forum: Off-Topic
- Topic: Calling the Police on Burglars “Comes from a Place of Privilege”
- Replies: 32
- Views: 10519
Re: Calling the Police on Burglars “Comes from a Place of Privilege”
Yeah. I need to find a new image hosting service. But...
- Mon Jun 08, 2020 4:49 pm
- Forum: Off-Topic
- Topic: Calling the Police on Burglars “Comes from a Place of Privilege”
- Replies: 32
- Views: 10519
Re: Calling the Police on Burglars “Comes from a Place of Privilege”
Daddio-on-patio wrote: ↑Mon Jun 08, 2020 4:41 pm Surprised the 911 operator didn't scold them for locking their door thus requiring the wealth distribution response team to resort to crowbars.
- Mon Jun 08, 2020 1:01 pm
- Forum: Off-Topic
- Topic: Calling the Police on Burglars “Comes from a Place of Privilege”
- Replies: 32
- Views: 10519
Re: Calling the Police on Burglars “Comes from a Place of Privilege”
"911; what is your emergency?"
"It's... Three men, with guns! I have video on the front door. They're trying to kick in the door!"
"Try to stay calm. I'm here to help. I show your address as 4357 Desperation Way, is that correct?"
"Yeah. Yes! They're using a crowbar on the door now! And there's a fourth man with a gun! They all have masks!"
"Staying calm and in control is vital. Now, do you have a safe room you can go to that is at least FEMA 320 rated and that is UL 752 level 3-8 bullet resistant?"
"What?! What the devil is that?!" They're coming through the door! I need help now!"
"Don't worry. I've already notified the City Council's Community Relations & Collective Cooperation Task Force. The on-duty committee members will respond within 30 minutes by holding a Zoom online meeting to discuss how best to get aid to you."
"What?!"
"You will hear back from the on-duty task force manager within 60 to 90 minutes. If the on-duty manager cannot reach you by phone, he or she will text and email, and will try to call you back 30 minutes after that if you haven't contacted them first. Now, again, staying calm and compliant is vital. Get to the center of the room, kneel down on the floor, and place your open hands well above your head. When the men breach the front door and enter your home, smile and say in a clear and friendly voice, 'Welcome to my home. I will cooperate fully and give you anything you want.'"
"What the... That's my help?!"
"Thank you for calling 911, and please stay on the line to answer a very brief customer satisfaction survey at the end of this call."
A "thank you" to parabellum for the reminder about the customer satisfaction survey.
I wonder if I can get a job as a consultant for Minneapolis to help them with the setup their new defunded police environment? Oh, and BTW, the hidden Easter egg in that post is the street address: "4357" on the phone keypad spells out "HELP."
"It's... Three men, with guns! I have video on the front door. They're trying to kick in the door!"
"Try to stay calm. I'm here to help. I show your address as 4357 Desperation Way, is that correct?"
"Yeah. Yes! They're using a crowbar on the door now! And there's a fourth man with a gun! They all have masks!"
"Staying calm and in control is vital. Now, do you have a safe room you can go to that is at least FEMA 320 rated and that is UL 752 level 3-8 bullet resistant?"
"What?! What the devil is that?!" They're coming through the door! I need help now!"
"Don't worry. I've already notified the City Council's Community Relations & Collective Cooperation Task Force. The on-duty committee members will respond within 30 minutes by holding a Zoom online meeting to discuss how best to get aid to you."
"What?!"
"You will hear back from the on-duty task force manager within 60 to 90 minutes. If the on-duty manager cannot reach you by phone, he or she will text and email, and will try to call you back 30 minutes after that if you haven't contacted them first. Now, again, staying calm and compliant is vital. Get to the center of the room, kneel down on the floor, and place your open hands well above your head. When the men breach the front door and enter your home, smile and say in a clear and friendly voice, 'Welcome to my home. I will cooperate fully and give you anything you want.'"
"What the... That's my help?!"
"Thank you for calling 911, and please stay on the line to answer a very brief customer satisfaction survey at the end of this call."
A "thank you" to parabellum for the reminder about the customer satisfaction survey.
I wonder if I can get a job as a consultant for Minneapolis to help them with the setup their new defunded police environment? Oh, and BTW, the hidden Easter egg in that post is the street address: "4357" on the phone keypad spells out "HELP."