I would've used different wording to help avoid legal entanglement, but I would've used muscular language to be sure...
How in the hell do you do that?
Do you dig out your little lawyer dictionary of legal phrases? Dial up" You've got an instant lawyer" on your blueberry? And if you spout off some lawyer lingo how do you get the perp to understand it? Do you hand him your blueberry so he can dial up a "Perps R US" law firm so they can translate what you just told him? Face it guys in any given situation your on your own. I kind of liked the "you want a bullet in your face" theme. It worked well, was very well understood and it defused the situation rather quickly. Your best defense in any situation is common sense. Leave the lawyering to the lawyers.