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As many others have said, I think a typical 13 year old can safely and effectively shoot a 9mm, even a little one like a nano. But I also agree that a small 9mm is not the ideal first boom/recoil experience.

Starting with a .22 allows any new shooter to build a comfort level with the whole experience and to achieve success. It may only take a few minutes with a .22 to realize that the shooter is ready to move on to something more substantial, but in my opinion it is well worth the time (and the hassle/expense if you need to rent one) to start small.