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Your best bet is to go to a gun store/range that rents pistols and try several. Specifications are a good starting point, but there is no substitute for actually handling the pistol.

Of the many pistols they have sampled, my youngest brother and my wife both prefer the Walther PPS M2 as it fits their hands best. My brother finds my M&P, even with the smallest palm swell, to be too large for his hand; mostly in being able to reach the trigger. My wife, on the other hand, enjoys shooting my M&P and does so very well.

Walther has an 8 round magazine for the PPS M2. The PPS M2 LE comes with 6, 7, and 8 round magazines. My wife carries her LE with a round in the chamber; 8+1. She also carries a 7 round magazine for a total of 16 rounds on her person. The Walther would give you a pistol that will probably fit your hands (you have to try it for yourself) with only a 3 round reduction from your stated desired capacity. Carrying an additional magazine mitigates that issue.