Very well written TAM. and I have to agree completely.
The one other item that want to throw in there is that in a case where you have to use deadly force, your adrenalin is also very high. With that in mind, it is difficult at best, when in a high stress situation like a defensive shoot, to have a well placed shot. There are many documented cases where trained professionals as well as those of us that train on a regular basis, miss the target when in a high stress shoot. You always like to think you are completely prepared, but if and when that time ever arises, the nerves will get involved. That is why we train for center of mass as a target. It gives a much larger area to shoot at.
A case in point on this is the very first time I ever shot IDPA, I was totally prepared and ready (or so I thought) until that buzzer wnet off and I completely locked up. Now, I feel I am better prepared but still won't know for sure until that time arises if it ever does.
Although I carry a .380 as a pocket BUG, it is not my primary weapon nor my weapon of choice. My wife and daughter both like the 9mm over the .380 or 38. They both have an XD9, one on a compact and one in a sub-compact that they prefer.
As stated above, find a range that rents pistols and try several in different platforms and calibers.
As stated above, find a range