mr.72 wrote:Loading 20ga shotgun shells into a 12ga and firing it is a recipe for disaster. The dude is very lucky the gun didn't kaboom in spectacular fashion.
This is a good reason to limit the calibers you have on hand. This is one reason why I only have 9mm handguns. It is easy to make a mistake. .380, 9mm, .40SW all look alike. If you are not really familiar with them then it could be a totally honest mistake to load the wrong thing.
Um. I think that's actually a poor reason to limit the calibers you have on hand. A good reason to do so would be for ammo compatibility between your weapons, and to simplify ammunition acquisition.
I can tell the difference between 9mm, 9x18, and .380 from each other simply from visual inspection. Even so, you only need to look at the headstamp to verify. I wouldn't call myself "
really familiar" with them. I'm familiar enough to look at them and see the differences, and have been since I acquired the each of the guns and ammunition for their respective calibers. While they are similar in design, only a true novice (such as the friend in the story) would be unable to tell the differences between the calibers. The only time I've heard of an experienced shooter mixing up calibers was when all the rounds were thrown together in a box (such as reloaded rounds), and the shooter wasn't paying attention when loading the magazine.
EDIT: I took a picture to demonstrate this. I don't have a 20ga to compare to 12, but I do have 16ga. The difference between 12 and 20 will be even more pronounced.

From left to right: 12ga, 16ga, 9mm (9x19), 9mm Makarov (9x18), .380 ACP (9x17)
Now, to address your .380 vs 9mm apprehension: the bullets are a completely different shape, there's no mistaking the two. The 9mm is also considerably longer.
9mm Makarov and .380 are much closer, but there are noticeable differences here as well. The .380 bullet tip is elliptical in shape, while the Makarov bullet tip is spherical. The bullet on the Makarov is actually 9.27mm wide,with a 9.91mm case tapering slightly larger to 9.95mm at the rim. This gives the round a squatty look to it. By contrast, .380 bullet is 9.0mm wide, with a 9.5mm straight-walled case. Its appearance is more slim.