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It seems to me that the person you were talking to is as close to a true pacifist as you are likely to find in the US. There are quite a few who do believe this way. I usually will just acknowledge that reasonable people can disagree and move on, but I did come up with one quote that usually stops the debate about the pistol being a defensive or offensive weapon:

The best defense is a good offense.

When someone attacks, one of the best things I can do is counterattack. If I can bring more force onto the situation more quickly than my attacker, I am most likely going to win.

I will then state that I disagree with their view of whether or not my property is worth killing over, but I recognize their right to their beliefs.

As others have pointed out, you are not going to win, so getting them to agree that there are other viewpoints that may be valid is about the best you can do. Most of them will never admit that there is a valid viewpoint that is different than theirs.