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Hello this is Mrs. GFMun.....I have tried many, owned several and as my confidence and skills increased so did the type of gun I prefer. To me the first thing was did it fit my hand, could I rack the slide, change the mag, unjam if necessary and could take it apart and clean it myself. If I was going to use/carry I wanted to have complete confidence that I could handle the gun I chose. I like Glocks, but I also have large hands and have no problems with the grip. I do not like small guns. We have a kahr pm9 that I have carried but it bites when I shoot it so it is not a favorite. However for self defense, I think it is a good place to start. My purse gun is a j frame 38 special with an oversized grip and I love it. Easy to shoot.
Realize the first one is only going to tell you what you want in your next gun! Make it something she can handle and you can sell/trade as time goes on.
Barb