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My daughter is almost 8 and has been shooting her single-shot Crickett .22lr bolt action since Christmas 2011. So she was basically 6 when she started. Last time we went to the range a couple weeks ago, there were a couple of 1911 .45's barking on either side of her...she didn't even flinch. I would recommend starting small and graduating up, also. Her big brother started that way (.22 to .410 to 20 gauge, etc...) and it will probably surprise you how quickly they advance. I would think 13 would be old enough for a 9mm, but I don't know his comfort level. I never push it on them, I just let them go out and have fun. Most importantly, enjoy y'all's time together!