School Bans Strapless Dresses from school dance

[bdickens]

Did anybody but me look at the picture?

I know I seem to be in the minority here, but there is a looooong way from a strapless evening gown worn at a formal event to dressing like a streetwalker. Even at 13 or 14.

Far, FAR less inappropriate than this: http://www.wnd.com/2013/04/school-force ... bian-kiss/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[The Annoyed Man]

Did anybody but me look at the picture?

I know I seem to be in the minority here, but there is a looooong way from a strapless evening gown worn at a formal event to dressing like a streetwalker. Even at 13 or 14.

Far, FAR less inappropriate than this: http://www.wnd.com/2013/04/school-force ... bian-kiss/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

You're right, that is far more inappropriate. But I quote the caption under the lone picture in the article:

Readington Middle School in New Jersey has banned girls from wearing strapless dresses, such as these pictured here, to their eighth grade dance. (Getty Images)

So in all fairness, we only know that the strapless dresses in question may look like the ones pictured in a photo taken from a stock photography website, showing high school aged girls rather than middle school aged girls. IF the strapless dresses looked very formal like the ones in the embedded photo, then I suppose it isn't that big of a deal. OTH, we don't know if they looked like tube the tops and miniskirts from a Jeff Foxworthy "you might be a redneck if...." skits.

In any case, my previous post wasn't so much in response to the strapless dresses as it was to the degradation of society, of which the sexualization of our children is just one symptom.

[Panda]

I think the girls should be able to wear what they want and so should the boys. If bare shouldets and lower legs are acceptable for the girls, they should allow the boys to wear shorts, etc.

For the parents whining about free speech I wonder if they would support other kids making crude sexual comments about their kids, or in their minds does "free spech" apply to every form of expression except actual speech?

[The Annoyed Man]

I think the girls should be able to wear what they want and so should the boys. If bare shouldets and lower legs are acceptable for the girls, they should allow the boys to wear shorts, etc.

That might cause some people to rethink things, wouldn't it?

Speaking of which, I think I'll wear shorts when I go out today.

[txglock21]

I understand what you say and I homeschool my children too. You are fine with reasonable dress codes based on common sense....how is straps and mid thigh skirt length not common sense? They are not picking out colors or themes or fabric or styles...there are thousands of styles within that framework. How is that not common sense?

To answer your question as to why a full length dress no shoulder strap is not a good idea is simply this.....a dress with straps is less likely to be pulled down if someone steps on it and is less likely to fall in the case of vigorous dancing (which is the norm at proms). It is a minimum standard to protect the girl and others present from embarrassment. Prom is not really about learning....it is a celebration. If we want to stick to learning then prom should not happen.[/quote]

Your explaination of the needed strap is rational, but the article I read on Yahoo (yea I know, its Yahoo), said the explaination was and I don't have the exact quote, but something to the effect, to keep from being a distraction to the boys. What?? This is what I'm talking about. Foolish people making foolish rules. Case in point: One of the many reasons we pulled my son from public school was they "tried to" suspend him for TWO days because he missed a belt loop with his belt on his pants. REALLY??? The only reason he was not suspended was because we asked them to show us where it (dress code) specifically said suspention for a missing belt loop and they couldn't.

[rotor]

Just being vulnerable and honest here, and trying mightily to stay within the board rules.......

At my old church back in California, I was once engaged in a conversation on a nice sunny day with one of the elder "saints" of the church. I don't even remember what we were talking about, but I was in my 40s at the time and this guy was in his 80s, and he was one of those old guys that a guy like me thinks, "If I can turn out like this guy when I'm his age, I'll know I've been doing some things right." Anyway, we were standing there talking, outside in front of the worship center on a beautifully perfect sunny southern California morning, and a teenaged girl walks by. Now, I'm talking, "barely" teenaged, because she was about 16 going on 25, and may Tijuana donkeys eat me alive for lying if I say that she was anything less that a California "10." I mean, she was FINE...........and her parents had let her go to church without enough fabric covering her skin, and that fabric which was present was too tight.

Now, I'm a red-blooded guy, and so is the old man I'm talking to. We both literally stopped in mid-sentence and swiveled our heads as she walked by us. I finally tore my gaze away, looked at my companion, and I was really embarrassed that I had caught myself so obviously checking out this girl's "goodies." The only saving grace for me was that this old guy had been caught in exactly the same thing. We locked eyes and I asked him, "does it ever get any easier?" He said, "no, it doesn't. I may be 85 on the outside, but in here [he taps his fist on over his heart], I'm still 18." We were both a little ashamed of ourselves, because this girl may have been a "woman" on the outside, but in her heart, she was still just a kid. I knew her from my work with the high school ministry, and for both myself and the older guy, it was a momentary weakness to think of a child in that way.

Fast forward to today........ My son got married just 3 weeks ago. He's 23, and their circle of friends were all people in their 20s. All of their friends were appropriately dressed for a wedding. My niece flew in from California to attend. She's a pretty 20 year old with an attractive figure, and the dress she wore to the wedding had evidently been airbrushed on and was SO short that she could not bend forward at the waist without being indecent. She later confessed to my wife that she wished she had worn something else because she had realized after arriving at the venue that, not only was she wildly inappropriately dressed for the occasion, but she also felt like, because of it, she didn't have the freedom to cut loose and enjoy herself—dance, laugh it up, whatever—because she was constantly having to tug at the rear hem of her dress to make sure she wasn't uncovered back there. I actually felt bad for her.

My niece's choice of clothing was the direct result of her desire to be "adult," and having a distorted idea of what "adult" means.......partly because her life is immersed in California culture which is accurately described by JALLEN; and partly because the culture at large has sexualized our children. As a culture, we have taught our kids that "adult" means "sexual," but that is only a small part of being adult. Being an adult involves a huge scope of behaviors, decision-making, and responsibilities. Sexuality is only a tiny part of it. My brother, her father, is not at all a religious person like I am, and he had a much more laissez-faire attitude about his kids' moral compass than I had about my son's. The good news is that she's a smart girl, and I think she'll remember the lesson learned. I doubt she'll wear that dress again.....and nobody said a thing to her. She arrived at the conclusion on her own.

Gender politics aside, it is undeniable that about 98% of us are made with a powerful drive to attract or be attracted by the opposite sex. People can exploit that or not, as is they are guided by their internal compass, but the indisputable fact is that this attraction is purely sexual. A woman's curves do NOT make me wonder if she is a great conversationalist, although the manner in which they are displayed may make me wonder if she has any particular religious convictions or moral standards. So what it boils down to is this.....and this applies to ALL of us: Guys, if you don't want me to think you're a nelly queen, don't dress and act like one. Girls, if you don't want me to think that you're a "working girl," don't dress and act like one. Conversely, if y'all WANT me to think of you that way, then by all means dress and act the part. It's your world, and I'm just a squirrel trying to get by in it. If you are a Christian girl who really does believe the tenets of the faith, then have a little mercy on your brothers in Christ and don't do that to us. You've been given power. Use it wisely. HELP me to have a right mind about who and what you are.

Carry on.

Wonderful story. Must have been a very impressive figure for you to still remember this. This mechanism was built into our psyche by God. Also explains why my wife like Brad Pitt movies.

[gthaustex]

Guys, if you don't want me to think you're a nelly queen, don't dress and act like one. Girls, if you don't want me to think that you're a "working girl," don't dress and act like one. Conversely, if y'all WANT me to think of you that way, then by all means dress and act the part. It's your world, and I'm just a squirrel trying to get by in it. If you are a Christian girl who really does believe the tenets of the faith, then have a little mercy on your brothers in Christ and don't do that to us. You've been given power. Use it wisely. HELP me to have a right mind about who and what you are.

Well said TAM. Fortunately, my teenage daughter actually asks for my opinion on the appropriateness of her attire if there is any doubt. She has shown no desire to dress like a working girl. I pray that trend continues...

[steveincowtown]

For all those that agree with the school implementing this rule, I would submit that you are unintentionally yielding to the idea the children are the collective responsibility of government and society and that they do not belong to their parents.

Parents need to be making these decisions, not schools.

[txglock21]

For all those that agree with the school implementing this rule, I would submit that you are unintentionally yielding to the idea the children are the collective responsibility of government and society and that they do not belong to their parents.

Parents need to be making these decisions, not schools.

This was my original point, you just said it better than I could.

[anygunanywhere]

For all those that agree with the school implementing this rule, I would submit that you are unintentionally yielding to the idea the children are the collective responsibility of government and society and that they do not belong to their parents.

Parents need to be making these decisions, not schools.

We have every right to demand that our government school district rules fall in line with our standards. This includes dress codes, curriculum, discipline, menus, staffing, and all other aspects of the education system.

The school system belongs to the taxpayers in the disctrict.

Yes, parents need to make these decisions for our children. However, when some parents fail, we must insist that our schools take appropriate steps to enforce the standards we set.

That being said, government schools are no different from barry and his administration in mordor on the potomac.

Anygunanywhere

[OldGrumpy]

For all those that agree with the school implementing this rule, I would submit that you are unintentionally yielding to the idea the children are the collective responsibility of government and society and that they do not belong to their parents.

Parents need to be making these decisions, not schools.

This was my original point, you just said it better than I could.

The above thinking is only as good as the responsibility of the parents making the decision. I grew up in an age of absolute authorities such as church leaders, school leaders, etc. What they said was supported in public, and questioned in private. In today's world that has been reversed. Now we wonder why we do not have more competent educational leaders. Because the good ones become frustrated with lack of support and go on to jobs where they do not have to deal with lack of suuport, leaving the incompetents to lead.

[The Annoyed Man]

For all those that agree with the school implementing this rule, I would submit that you are unintentionally yielding to the idea the children are the collective responsibility of government and society and that they do not belong to their parents.

Parents need to be making these decisions, not schools.

I never said differently. I don't care what the school does......they're already a cultural, political, and constitutional wasteland. But I DO care about what parents allow their children to do, and I will feel free to judge as first class idiots those who are too permissive and who lack the spine to be good parents.

[jmra]

For all those that agree with the school implementing this rule, I would submit that you are unintentionally yielding to the idea the children are the collective responsibility of government and society and that they do not belong to their parents.

Parents need to be making these decisions, not schools.

I never said differently. I don't care what the school does......they're already a cultural, political, and constitutional wasteland. But I DO care about what parents allow their children to do, and I will feel free to judge as first class idiots those who are too permissive and who lack the spine to be good parents.

[Oldgringo]

One of the unmistakable developments in our culture in my lifetime is how compulsion now rules the world of work, hours, breaks, lunch hours, right to work, duties, discrimination against every conceivable characteristic, the consequent rise of the HR department that rules over every other consideration, and how in other aspects of our lives, we are freer than ever to act, speak, dress and carry on in the most vulgar, demeaning, outlandish, rude and even filthy ways we can come up with.

Almost every old man of every generation has been able to claim, with perfect sincerity and accuracy, that the young people are uncivilized, uncouth, rude, lazy, filthy, and worse, and I suppose I am in that stage of life, but I can't help but say that if we had acted, dressed, talked and carried on back then like many young people do today, we would still be being beaten!

What's wrong with a dress code, a haircut code, a (pardon me!) tattoo code, a manners code?

[SewTexas]

For all those that agree with the school implementing this rule, I would submit that you are unintentionally yielding to the idea the children are the collective responsibility of government and society and that they do not belong to their parents.

Parents need to be making these decisions, not schools.

when you place your children in the care of government schools you hand over that decision making control...you want it back? you take back your children. Those are your choices.