Any favorite quotes?

[OverEasy]

"It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others."

I don't know where it came from. I saved it because I have met a few of them.

OE

[puma guy]

"When small men cast a big shadow it's a sure sign the sun is setting."
unknown

[Bear67]

From Sir Winston Churchill

"A gentleman will seldom, if ever, need a pistol. However, if he does,he needs it very badly!" --

"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it will eat him last."

"My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me."

[Lambda Force]

"Sic semper tyrannis." - attributed to Marcus Junius Brutus

"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier." - Colin Powell

"To err is human; to forgive, divine. Neither is Marine Corps policy." - unknown

[texasmusic]

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Can you guess the genius behind these?

[Heartland Patriot]

"Sic semper tyrannis." - attributed to Marcus Junius Brutus

"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier." - Colin Powell

"To err is human; to forgive, divine. Neither is Marine Corps policy." - unknown

I always heard the last one as "To err is human, to forgive is not SAC's policy" (old Strategic Air Command)...they even had a mock logo to go with it...the normal SAC logo was a mailed gauntlet holding lightning bolts...the mock one replaced the lightning bolts with a detached portion of the male anatomy...it made the point about the importance of getting the job done right the first time, in a crudely humorous way.

[Warhammer]

To err is human; to REALLY foul things up, it takes a computer.

[talltex]

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Can you guess the genius behind these?

sounds like Mr. Rodney Daingerfield to me...just can't get no respect

[surprise_i'm_armed]

More Rodney Dangerfield:

When I was in high school, I was talking to a pretty girl on the phone.
She said "Would you like to come over to my house? There's no one home."
I said SURE!
I went over her house. Sure enough, there was no one home!

My parents moved when I was 6 years old.
The cop told me "Kid, they could be anywhere!"

My parents never liked me. My dad used to give me a sharp knife and tell
me to go play in traffic!

The wife and I were having problems so we went to see a marriage counselor.
He told us that we should go out once a week for a romantic dinner.
It's working out great. She goes Friday's, I go Saturday's.

*******************************************************************************************************

"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

The Godfather, after a man is executed with a headshot from the back seat.

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SIA

[pedalman]

From my dad:

"Don't make a hard job out of an easy one."

[The Mad Moderate]

Stupid Hurts
-Me

[iratollah]

From SF writer Robert Heinlein:

An armed society is a polite society.

Always keep your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.

May have gotten this from Heinlein but it's become my personal motto:
"It's socially unacceptable to be ahead of your time."

[Carry-a-Kimber]

"The pistol; learn it well and wear it always." ~ Jeff Cooper

[texasmusic]

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Can you guess the genius behind these?

sounds like Mr. Rodney Daingerfield to me...just can't get no respect

Good guess... The other king of one-liners

Henny Youngman!

[puma guy]

I'm so poor I can't afford the steam off a free hotdog!