Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowner!

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drjoker
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Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowner!

#1

Post by drjoker »

A coworker of mine came home drunk from a night of partying. Anyways, he plops himself down on the sofa and falls asleep. He doesn't even make it into the bedroom....

The next morning, he wakes up to the fragrant smell of some meat sizzling in a skillet. It smells great! Mmm.... "Wait, I live alone," he thought? What the...! He staggers up as fast as he could with hangover head and quickly stumbles into the kitchen. A total stranger is cooking a steak on his skillet!

My coworker then bolts for his gun and returns to the kitchen. "What the?? Leave now!" My coworker shows restraint and doesn't shoot him because he figures if the stranger wanted to do him harm the stranger would've already done so when he was sleeping. The stranger ignored him and continued to cook the steak. My coworker is now freaking out and calling 911.

The stranger continues to ignore him and calmly puts the steak into a plastic bag. The stranger then calmly and slowly puts a bread roll and some oranges in the bag. The guy then calmly walks over to the refrigerator and looks for the longest time. Aha! He finds the orange juice and takes it. Then, totally relaxed, the guy takes his meal with him and leaves without saying a word.

There was no break-in. My coworker must've forgotten to shut his front door properly when he stumbled home drunk. That, boys and girls is why you should never stumble home drunk. It's best to not to overimbibe at all, especially if you're carrying... or else you might break bread with a total stranger the next morning!

"rlol"

P.S. another coworker jokingly said that the stranger was someone he picked up for the evening and he just doesn't remember because he was so drunk. So, they mock fight and tussle. I told them to break it up and get back to work. Kids.
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Hoi Polloi
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#2

Post by Hoi Polloi »

So was there really a guy in his kitchen? I'm not clear if you're saying there was a guy but he didn't break in because the door was open or if you're saying there wasn't a guy there but there could have been because the door was open.
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#3

Post by chartreuse »

I can't help thinking that, if the stranger was going to take the orange juice, he should have picked something other than oranges to accompany the steak - 5 different veggies per day, an' all. I worry as to how much roughage he'd get from a single bread roll, too, even if it was wholegrain. ;-)
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#4

Post by drjoker »

Yes, there really was a stranger in his kitchen. My coworker left his door unlocked and/or open after he staggered in drunk. What I meant by, "there's no break-in," is that the stranger in his kitchen did not break his window nor kicked down his door to get in. There was "entering" but no "break-in".
Hoi Polloi wrote:So was there really a guy in his kitchen? I'm not clear if you're saying there was a guy but he didn't break in because the door was open or if you're saying there wasn't a guy there but there could have been because the door was open.
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#5

Post by WildBill »

drjoker wrote:A coworker of mine came home drunk from a night of partying. Anyways, he plops himself down on the sofa and falls asleep. He doesn't even make it into the bedroom....
I hope your coworker realizes that this is a great way to get himself killed. If he doesn't change his lifestyle, rather than waking up with a hangover one morning, he may wake up dead.
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Shoot Straight
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#6

Post by Shoot Straight »

drjoker wrote:P.S. another coworker jokingly said that the stranger was someone he picked up for the evening and he just doesn't remember because he was so drunk.
That's more believable than the story your first coworker is telling.
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#7

Post by Carry-a-Kimber »

Shoot Straight wrote:
drjoker wrote:P.S. another coworker jokingly said that the stranger was someone he picked up for the evening and he just doesn't remember because he was so drunk.
That's more believable than the story your first coworker is telling.
:iagree: I don't smell meat cookin', but somthing about this story is fishy.
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#8

Post by USA1 »

I would have ordered the stranger to get out immediately...but leave the steak. :cool:
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#9

Post by mrcharlie »

before any shooting or ordering, he needs to make sure he's in HIS own house :-)
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#10

Post by Excaliber »

Shoot Straight wrote:
drjoker wrote:P.S. another coworker jokingly said that the stranger was someone he picked up for the evening and he just doesn't remember because he was so drunk.
That's more believable than the story your first coworker is telling.
I would have to agree here.

After having seen a few of these types of situations, I can't help suspecting that the details on the sleeping arrangements might not exactly correspond to what happened either. Uninvited intruders don't usually take over the bedroom while the homeowner sleeps on the couch. They also don't generally finish cooking and packing breakfast before they leave.

That fellow apparently had quite a memorable night for himself - if only he could remember it. :lol:
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#11

Post by C-dub »

mrcharlie wrote:before any shooting or ordering, he needs to make sure he's in HIS own house :-)
That's where I thought this was going.
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#12

Post by Oldgringo »

How did this drunken fool get home? Did he drive?

This sort of infantile behavior is beyond dumb. It's stupid and irresposonsible. Someone should have called his Momma. I'll bet she would have been proud of her spawn.

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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#13

Post by zero4o3 »

Oldgringo wrote:How did this drunken fool get home? Did he drive?

This sort of infantile behavior is beyond dumb. It's stupid and irresposonsible. Someone should have called his Momma. I'll bet she would have been proud of her spawn.
judgeing from the story, I imagine he got home with who ever was in his kitchen.
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#14

Post by TxA »

From the sound of things, I would venture a guess that the guy was still drunk from the night before when he woke up! :biggrinjester:
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Re: Don't come home drunk! Home invasion of drunken homeowne

#15

Post by Vecco »

zero4o3 wrote:
Oldgringo wrote:How did this drunken fool get home? Did he drive?

This sort of infantile behavior is beyond dumb. It's stupid and irresposonsible. Someone should have called his Momma. I'll bet she would have been proud of her spawn.
judgeing from the story, I imagine he got home with who ever was in his kitchen.

I agree... I wonder if last Night He was a She? :leaving
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