bdickens wrote:I shudder to think what kind of marriage some of you people have if you don't keep your spouses in the loop about what you are doing.
It may be far different that your reading of posts on this forum would lead you to believe. Remember, you are only seeing a microcosm of even the dialogue on this matter, let alone everything else that is going on in a relationship. You remember the story about the 8 blind men touching the elephant don't you? Each of them knew that the part they touched was the truth but, in reality, none of them could understand the complete truth because they couldn't see it. It is a big mistake to extrapolate one part across the whole.
As I said in an earlier post, we've been married for 40 years this year. We have a great relationship. There are times when we agree to disagree. Not every point of discussion is resolved over night but we can agree to disagree until we work through the difference of opinion.
Having raised to kids (both are now over 30) we've had ample opportunity to figure these sorts of things out before and we will do it again.
Good post & a very good work you & wife are doing at marriage.
Carry 24-7 or guess right.
CHL Instructor. http://www.pdtraining.us" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
NRA/TSRA Life Member - TFC Member #11
So rather than take any chances, I determined that I'd better have a Texas CHL before I get to her father's house.
According to the link you provided your Texas CHL won't help one bit. The NC statutes specifically state that it must be a license issued by NC.
I thought that was what reciprocity was for.
The Constitution preserves the advantage of being armed which Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation where the governments are afraid to trust the people with arms. James Madison
NRA Life Member Texas Firearms Coalition member
[quote="baldeagle"
I thought that was what reciprocity was for.[/quote]
Somehow, I don't think that you are both on the same point. Baldeagle, as far a I read, NC does have reciprocity with a Texas CHL. We are planning a visit there very soon and that is what my research tells me, too. I expect to legally carry there.
I think that the divergence of subject happened over the transfer of a handgun. I apologize if my intervention at that point clouded up that part. I suspect that the point is that the transfer cannot happen to someone holding a Texas CHL versus a NC CCW or whatever it is called (please forgive me on the exact terminology - I trying to research a half of dozen States for our next trip.)
I don't mean to add any more mud to this water, I'm just trying to understand it for sure myself. During our visit to NC, we will not be attempting to add or exchange firearms - this time.
Update: It has been a while since this thread was active. I don't know about Bald Eagle but my situation has changed dramatically.
- as a result of my starting to carry without my wife knowing it, she lost her fear that I would be discovered and arrested. I really feel like this was one of the major drivers behind her initial resistance. Now, even when she knows that I'm carrying and exactly where it is, she says that she cannot detect anything. I've carefully built my clothing choices so that this would be the case.
- I've mentioned in passing some of the situations that have been presented here on this forum. I had more than just getting her comfortable with my carrying in mind as a part of these discussions. I need to get her out of condition white. We have a long ways to go but she is making progress and because she wants to now. Initially, I just wanted her to understand that I wasn't seeing a boogey man behind every tree - that there were BGs out there and that someday, someplace we might have to deal with one.
- she often prompts me now to make sure that I'm carrying. I've been slowly getting her to understand that it isn't always possible because of schools (I've had to pick our granddaughter up), 30.06 signs, etc. She's beginning to understand that there is more to it than just walking out the door with the holster strapped on.
- she tells me that she is more secure knowing that I have the gun with us. On our recent trip, we hit a couple of rest areas and a truck stop that really made her uneasy. Knowing that we can defend ourselves if that becomes necessary eased her concern. I'm still working with her to understand that we need to make sure that we exercise caution and stay alert.
My message in this post? We all learn differently. I'm an "immersion" learner. I dive in to something new and try to absorb everything I can as fast as I can. I'm always pushing the limits in that new area. She is more the slow, steady assimilation type. She builds her comfort over time. When my boundry testing is outside her comfort zone, she lets me know. Just because we aren't in lock step all along the way doesn't mean that we a loggerheads with one another. We both understand that sometimes, we will not agree about something. These situations have never been a source of on-going conflict. We both understand that we need to work back towards one another, not try to make the differences worse.
When we started racing sailboats, we both recognized that there could be injury and death involved. Initially, she didn't want our kids on board. Over time, we learned to race as a family under some very wild and dangerous conditions. Our kids literally grew up as we raced our boat around the country. Boy do we have stories! The decision to carry a gun a significant part of the time also carries with it danger in many forms. Understanding those dangers and dealing with them mentally can take time. We are both still learning but we've come a long way together on the subject - as I knew that we would.
What a great post, chasfm11! I too have made progress with my wife.
At first she thought it was ridiculous that I was carrying, because there was no need for it. Then she would question me - why do you need to carry just to run to Jimmy Johns? Because I need to develop the habit of never leaving the house without my weapon.
When we made our trip to NC, we talked about guns and carrying in the car. I think she began to understand the issues a little better, because she began talking about what kind of gun she would like to have (light, low recoil, single action.) In NC, she asked if I was going to carry to her family's houses. I said yes. She asked, "Even around the kids?" Yes, I said. Then she began telling everyone in the family that I was carrying, so they all had to see the gun (unloaded, of course!) and the holster and discuss the issue with me. Her dad began calling me "Matt Dillon" every time he saw me. She made sure to tell each of her family members about the four rules of gun safety.
Her dad got out a few of his guns and showed them to us. He suggested my wife might like a Colt Raven (.25 auto) like the ones he has. (I told her too few rounds and no stopping power, but not in front of him.) As time passed she adjusted to the issue more and more. Several times she didn't even notice me transfer the gun from the Kingston seat holster to the Comptac and back again. Then she would ask me if I left the gun in the Kingston holster when I went into the store. I told her I would always be armed when leaving the car. That she should always assume I was armed when out of the house, because I always would be.
Now she's decided that she doesn't want to carry outside the house. She wants something to stop intruders. I'm fine with that. We've made tons of progress.
The Constitution preserves the advantage of being armed which Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation where the governments are afraid to trust the people with arms. James Madison
NRA Life Member Texas Firearms Coalition member
Congrats to both of you. I am making slow progress as well. She has agreed that she needs to go the range with me. But, of course, it is never at the top of her list of things she wants to do for that weekend.
