Crisis Building in Neighborhood

[retrieverman]

Tough call. Anytime kids/teenagers are involved, it can get sticky.

[KBCraig]

1. Lots of motion-activated lights.
2. Lots of video game cams.
3. A second, more formal, visit with the uncle and a friendly deputy.

After that: CPS, a private attorney, a restraining order and/or order of protection, and criminal charges (in that order).

At that same time, I cannot help but be aware that these are essentially feral boys, whose mother is absent because she murdered their absentee father. They have good reason to be angry at life. If there is a way to divert their anger and salvage their lives, it would be a good thing to do. No one is obliged to make the attempt except their family members, but it would be a good thing if one has that sort of compassion.

As much as I despise HOAs, if there is one for this neighborhood, get them involved.

Hos, the uncle can't make the 17yo get a job. Because of the insane compulsory attendance law in Texas, the boy is required to attend school until the end of the school year in which he turns 18. If he turns 18 next September 1, he is required to attend school through the end of May (or whenever the official school year ends).

Yes, even if he's only in 9th grade at that point.

(Sorry for the side rant. We're home-schoolers and we get a bye, but the compulsory attendance and truancy laws in Texas are horrible. Our kids are essentially under curfew during "official" school hours, even though they're not enrolled in public schools and our schooling takes place off and on at all hours of the day.)

[KaiserB]

Do no small injury to an enemy.

Discharging a firearm is aggravated assault whether it's loaded with beanbags or bullets, whether you hit or miss. You need a legal justification for doing so.

The good old days of peppering kids who are trespassing or otherwise goofing off are long gone.

- Jim

This would also be "injury to a child" ... not a good thing, as you will most likely be charged.

[KD5NRH]

I'd agree with calling CPS and telling them exactly what the uncle said about how they might have a gun in the garage. If nothing else, his lack of certainty or sufficient concern to go check is troublesome.

[Bunkins]

I dont know if it would help or not, but calling the cops to talk with the kids is also an option. INSIST that they come talk with them, they will try to get out of it, saying there is nothing that can do. Just the presence of a police officer can do wonders sometimes, and I feel it would be my first step. I had to do something similar very resently, unfortunately is was over my niece.. She got to the point where she thought nobody had the right to tell her what to do and so forth. My sister, as hard as she tries just cant handle her, and let it go to far before making me aware of it, I sure she was embarrassed and a bit ashamed over it.. So I took it upon myself. My niece felt she was old enough to decide for herself what was right and wrong, she was also getting very violent.. A few LEO's were kind enough to come out and have a good long talk with her, and tell her what her options were if she didnt cooperate. They were in the house talking for a good 45 mins or so.. We saw a big change in my niece afterwards, in just that she respected what her mother told her to do, and what I asked her to do. DIdnt cure the problem, but it was a step in the right direction.. Just so long as her mom stays on her, and gets me involved frequently I'm confident things will be fine..

The BIG difference here is those kids are going through a horrible ordeal. If their uncle is willing to take control of the situation, then it might be a option.. Otherwise the CPA is the first step. I feel for them, help someone get involved before they become the people that innocent people have to worry about.

Those are really the only options. Unless the kids attack him, he really cant do a whole lot. Other than step up his efforts in keeping himself and wife out of harms way. It's a tough situation with minor's, a all to common problem.. I've found that police tend to avoid situations with minor's, thats just my experience. I think it's because they have limited options as well. But INSIST on them taking some kind of action, otherwise none will be taken..

[Venus Pax]

Your friend will continue to have issues as long as the kids are focused on him. The immediate challenge is to refocus the kids' interests elsewhere.

Has anyone tried talking to the kids themselves, either directly or through a neighborhood emissary?

A direct but nonconfrontational approach is often more successful than legal measures in situations like this.

In my experience, adolescents that would threaten the safety of an elderly couple do not respond to discussions with an adult. For that to work, the adult has to be a meaningful and stable part of the child's life, and it doesn't appear that these children have that.

Are they actually living in the uncle's house, or are they living by themselves?
I think CPS definitely needs to be involved, but these types of problems seldom go well.

[austin]

I think you are trying to solve the wrong problem.

The kids need a dad.

The General can be a leader of young men here, something he is capable of doing. He is obviously there every day and can be a force for good in these young men's lives.

Or he can sweep the problem under the rug and suffer the consequences.

He can choose one or the other.

IMHO, he needs to befriend the young men and then mold them.

[Frost]

Why should it be a joke?

It being a joke was the less offensive possibility.

It they're on his property and he doesn't want to permanently injure them...

They are called "less lethal" for a reason. You can blind or kill someone with rubber buck.

[nils]

I agree with austin...if the older gentleman was indeed a general, then he probably has some sort of idea on how to speak and motivate people. He should go over there and apologize for any kind of bad blood or misunderstanding...he should tell his part of the story to the boys, and explain why he said the words on the initial onset...he should also make it very clear to these young men that any other intrusion onto his property will be seen as hostile and threatening in his eyes, and will be dealt with as such. If this approach doesn't work, then he should take advantage of the Castle Doctrine...carry in his car, walk with the pistol exposed to and from the car so anyone watching will understand that he isn't an easy victim. I hate stupid punk kids who don't understand respect for others, but I believe that they should also have what is going on explained to them in plain English so there is no misunderstanding on how serious this could get... or even

[seamusTX]

Secondhand Lions was a great movie, but the scene where Uncle Hub whoops the juvenile delinquents into shape doesn't always work that way in real life.

There are way too many kids now who have never received parental love or proper moral guidance, and they have very warped attitudes by their teen years.

Perhaps these boys would be open to a conciliatory overture from the gentleman. From what I read, I'm not optimistic about it. They might see it as weakness.

Parents and guardians have the legal authority to withhold privileges and even use corporal punishment. So do military officers. This gentleman doesn't have that authority. What authority does he have?

- Jim

[subsonic]

Calling CPS is a good start. So is calling the police. If that doesn't solve the problem, maybe a local news reporter would be interested in a story about abandoned kids running wild...

[Oldgringo]

We had a similar situation next door. There was a 3 and 14 year old girl living there with a big fat ugly momma (BFUM) who wanted to be their friends. Again, there was no daddy. The 14 year old had 5-7 live-in boyfriends (at the same time) when her BFUM was at home and/or when she was away. These 5-7 boys in their pick ups were trespassing in our yard and creating a nuisance in general. We filed a complaint with the police, called the school, told the sherrif and a couple of preachers as well as the mayor and city manager. BTW, this is a nice neighborhood with nice houses, etc., etc.

What happened was NOTHING until this summer when we received a call that the house next door was on fire. Apparently, the little girl set the MBR on fire while the boys were lined up with the 14 year old in another part of the house. Now, no one lives there and that's fine with us.

This is a really tough situation. My suggestion would be to force the police to become involved by filing complaint/s and also try to get the taxpayer supported shool district involved. There are truancy laws as well as misdemeanor and felony violations that can all come into play. CPS isn't going to be much help because they are still hiding from that debacle with the so called religious cult near San Angelo (or wherever) last year.

Good Luck.

[nils]

Hey Oldgringo....what did you use to cover up the gas trail from their property to your garage???

[mrvmax]

I agree with austin...if the older gentleman was indeed a general, then he probably has some sort of idea on how to speak and motivate people. He should go over there and apologize for any kind of bad blood or misunderstanding...he should tell his part of the story to the boys, and explain why he said the words on the initial onset...he should also make it very clear to these young men that any other intrusion onto his property will be seen as hostile and threatening in his eyes, and will be dealt with as such. If this approach doesn't work, then he should take advantage of the Castle Doctrine...carry in his car, walk with the pistol exposed to and from the car so anyone watching will understand that he isn't an easy victim. I hate stupid punk kids who don't understand respect for others, but I believe that they should also have what is going on explained to them in plain English so there is no misunderstanding on how serious this could get... or even

I'm not sure why people think that a lifetime of problems can be resolved with a little talk. I would bet that they want nothing to do with the general and he probably doesn't want to spend the next 10 years trying to fix their lives. I understand trying to help. but this is real life, not the movies where everything ends well.

[Oldgringo]

Hey Oldgringo....what did you use to cover up the gas trail from their property to your garage???

You know, we were in Colorado at the time of the fire and my fishing buddy called and asked how I did that from 1,000 miles away. Well, we didn't but we sure don't miss them either. The sherriff told my wife that the BFUM paid cash for the house from a car wreck claim and didn't have any insurance. Did I mention dumb BFUM? Good riddance!

I don't reckon she had any insurance on the single wide she came from either.