Wally Walk Completed Tonight!
We assumed that you have already chose a proper holster, mag pouch (or suitable combination of substitutes) and cover garment and played dress-up in front of a mirror a couple of hundred times. But now, it is time to go live in the real world. It is time for you to go to WalMart!
Checked--Brought my wife, son and daughter for our weekly WW trip.
1) You must park your vehicle at least 50 yards from the entrance of a regular WallyWorld (75 yards for a SuperCenter.) As you head for the entrance, you must perform a scan of the area including checking under parked vehicles for BG's (Bad Guys.) Remember, grandma in an electric wheelchair is not a drive-by threat.
Checked--Parked midway out to keep my F250 Stroker from getting dinged up by shopping carts or other vehicles.
1A). Upon exiting car, surrepititiously adjust sidearm. Now don't touch it again unless your pants are about to fall off. Then tighten your belt.
Checked--Used an ankle holster...does this pass the test???
2) You MUST drive the shopping cart. No substitutes are allowed. Negotiating aisles full of screaming kids dropping cans of Chef Boyardee while Mom is on the cell phone and trying the latest Rosie O'Donnell Makeup & Fragrances is a good test of patience and self-control.
Checked--Yes...had to go get oil and filter for truck by way of Food Center entrance, still quite a few folks and kids out on a Friday evening!
3) No quickies! Your stay at WallyWorld must last no less than 45 minutes. You can hang out in automotive and even double check the Rapala lures to see what's new to kill an allotted rest time of 10 minutes. The rest of the time you must be on the move. An exception is made if you are with your significant other and she goes for the White Sale madness. You must park, wait and be ready to back your mate if things get hairy with the pillow throws or allergenic bedspreads.
Checked--Spent 1.5 hrs there shopping in all areas of WW!
4) You are gonna buy stuff so pick items from the top and bottom shelves to test your cover garment. Your mate can assist you and point out any deficiencies. If you are alone and store security or the cops have not arrived by the time you check out, you passed this test.
Checked--Not made out by anyone!
5) Check out: make sure you choose the busiest register. People will stand in close proximity and you must bear it with patience and avoiding contact. Beware of the people suddenly remembering a forgotten item and sending their mates to fetch it. They usually will brush against you on the way to get it.
Checked--Checkout Lane #14, Tobacco Sales...5 customers in front of me!
6) Meal Time! If your WallyWorld serves Nachos, go ahead and get yourself a big serving of the suckers and wash it down with a Sam's cola. If McD's is the choice at the premises, get fries, onion rings, apple pie and a large Coke. ALL MEALS MUST BE CONSUMED ON SITE! No To-Go's or you will be disqualified.
Checked--Had Soft Serve Ice Cream while kids had Chicken Nuggets H/Meals while wife continued shopping!
7) When you leave, repeat the scanning of the parking lot. Remember that now you are also dealing with a shopping cart that rattles like and old train and wants to go right all the time. Do not lose track of your surroundings because of this. If you have a car, open the trunk and introduce all your bags while facing outwards. Pick up Trucks: lower the tailgate and do the same. Keep scanning, you never know where the BG's might be.
Checked--WW bags faced outward...No BGs lurking around!
8) REMEMBER: Yellow lights = WallyWorld Security. Red Lights = Cops.
Checked--Only flashing light was the street sweeper truck cleaning the parking lot and a WW employee retreiving shopping carts with the Robocart!
9) - Make test fall on floor in busiest area - near register or anywhere crowded. See if concealment can still be maintained. If you lose that then go back to GO and do NOT collect $200
Checked--Actually fell in the books and magazine area trying to reach for a Cycle Magazine, everything stayed put however my bum is still a little sore! I may not be able to ride my Yamaha FJR1300 for an outing in Hill country! Not...can't miss a great day to ride my Farkle!
10) Restroom break (even if you don't have to go), go through the motions, figure out what your going to do with your gun, while sitting on the commode
Checked--No other shoppers around, only dropped jeans down to knees! All is well!
Passed WW Test! Now, I will ride my Farkle tomorrow and enjoy the backroads!
Signing Out!
Ug-Lee
