Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

[Crossfire]

So why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.... and the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

DONALD TRUMP: We should build a wall so the chicken can't cross the road.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

[Abraham]

Thanks Crossfire, I'm still laughing!

[treadlightly]

Good ones. Any others?

A certain club's representative, with precision use of pronouns: "Why did I cross the road? Am I being detained? Am I being charged with anything? Do you have any right to ask me why I'm crossing the road?"

[rtschl]

Good ones. Any others?

A certain club's representative, with precision use of pronouns: "Why did I cross the road? Am I being detained? Am I being charged with anything? Do you have any right to ask me why I'm crossing the road?"

[ScottDLS]

Peace Officer: I demand to see your LTC (license to cross) as you openly cross the road. It is illegal to openly cross the road and you only have a defense to prosecution for open crossing if you have valid license to cross.

ATF Agent: I am charging you with crossing the road in Oklahoma without a valid Oklahoma Crossing License. You are within 1000' of a school and the federal Chicken Free School Zone Act, says this is illegal if you are crossing in interstate commerce.

[Nortex]

Trancendentalist: The chicken crossed the road the get to the other side.

[LSUTiger]

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

[John Galt]

That is funny!

[ScottDLS]

PRES: The Chicken crossed the road to get to the gun show...we need to eliminate the chicken crossing loophole. All chickens should be background checked before they are allowed to cross. I will issue an EO to force common sense chicken control.

HILLARY: We should have Australia style chicken control. We will confiscate dangerous chickens and reimburse the owners. From this point forward you will need a license to cross your chicken and it must be de-beaked and de-clawed and may not lay more than one egg per week.

[Jusme]

PRES: The Chicken crossed the road to get to the gun show...we need to eliminate the chicken crossing loophole. All chickens should be background checked before they are allowed to cross. I will issue an EO to force common sense chicken control.

HILLARY: We should have Australia style chicken control. We will confiscate dangerous chickens and reimburse the owners. From this point forward you will need a license to cross your chicken and it must be de-beaked and de-clawed and may not lay more than one egg per week.

What about the high capacity, fully automatic, assault chickens?

[LSUTiger]

[Screamin Jimmy]

I always thought it was to prove to the armadillo* that it could be done successfully.

* Insert the name of the local wildlife that tends to become roadkill most frequently in your neck of the woods.

James

[Nortex]

:)

[treadlightly]

Colonel Cooper's steely gaze assayed the bird's progress. When asked why the ornithoid mustered the courage to cross in defiance of traffic, he replied, "To ride, shoot straight, and speak the truth."

Always remember the first rule of low cholesterol BBQ: have a chicken.

[WildBill]

S. TRUETT CATHY: He wanted to be a free range chicken.