Chuck Norris

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Lynyrd
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Re: Chuck Norris

#61

Post by Lynyrd »

There are no shark attacks while the sharks are watching Chuck Norris week. They are too scared.
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Keith B
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Re: Chuck Norris

#62

Post by Keith B »

OK, just got this in email. Maybe Chuck has a replacement. :mrgreen:
Quote of the Week.

When asked what he thinks about General Mattis being considered for Secretary of Defense, Rob O'Neill (the man who killed Bin Laden), said,

"General Mattis has a bear rug in his home. It's not dead, it's just afraid to move".
Edit to add: Found the same joke on Chuck here viewtopic.php?f=83&t=79089&p=1005348
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ninjabread
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Re: Chuck Norris

#63

Post by ninjabread »

Chuck's email address is gmail@chucknorris.com
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Bitter Clinger
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Re: Chuck Norris

#64

Post by Bitter Clinger »

"You may all go to H3ll, and I will go to Texas." - Davy Crockett
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WildBill
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Re: Chuck Norris

#65

Post by WildBill »

ninjabread wrote:Chuck's email address is gmail@chucknorris.com
"rlol"
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Skiprr
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Re: Chuck Norris

#66

Post by Skiprr »

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He only waits.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

And, this classic:

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puma guy
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Re: Chuck Norris

#67

Post by puma guy »

AndyC wrote:Chuck Norris died at his home in Texas this morning.

He has since recovered from this minor inconvenience and is reported to be hunting for the Grim Reaper.
:thumbs2: "rlol"
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ninjabread
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Re: Chuck Norris

#68

Post by ninjabread »

Death is about to have a near-Chuck experience.
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Vol Texan
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Re: Chuck Norris

#69

Post by Vol Texan »

Chuck Norris has more points on www.Texas3006.com than JustSomeOldGuy.

https://www.texas3006.com/topcontributors.php
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warnmar10
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When United tried to remove Chuck Norris

#70

Post by warnmar10 »

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allisji
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Re: Chuck Norris

#71

Post by allisji »

That giant crater in eastern Afghanistan? No, it wasn't the Mother of all Bombs, Chuck Norris was flying over when he suddenly sneezed.
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Jusme
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Re: Chuck Norris

#72

Post by Jusme »

allisji wrote:That giant crater in eastern Afghanistan? No, it wasn't the Mother of all Bombs, Chuck Norris was flying over when he suddenly sneezed.

Yeah, but Afghanistan has promised him that they have now removed all possible allergiens, after a very short meeting with Chuck.
I also heard everyone was afraid to say "bless you" since it was already assumed.
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C-dub
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Re: Chuck Norris

#73

Post by C-dub »

Borrowed from Puma Guy in the meme thread. It needed to be over here too.
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OneGun
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Re: Chuck Norris

#74

Post by OneGun »

Chuck Norris was about to walk into a bar, but the bar ducked out of Chuck's way.
Last edited by OneGun on Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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