Getting CHL and Wife issue

[Cshuff21]

I am getting my CHL and my wife asked me the other day, "Are you going to carry your gun with you all the time?" My response to her was that yes I planned on carrying when I am able to. She kinda laughed and made fun and said "so when you go to the store or anywhere you are taking your gun with you?" I said absolutely! But I get the feeling she is making fun and doesn't think it is necessary. What is a good way to make her realize that if you have your plastic you should carry all the time?

[RJGold]

Just do it...

There are a lot of people who think carrying a weapon makes you a paranoid warmonger out looking for trouble.

A few points I use for my own peace of mind:

1. It's my right to carry and I don't owe anyone an explanation about why...
2. It's better to have a gun and not need it than to need it and not have it...
3. If I knew I was going to need it (i.e. Why are you carrying there, are you expecting a gun fight?), I wouldn't go there...
4. Don't make an issue out of it, just carry as you see fit within the law...

My two cents...

[Teamless]

Just have her watch the news.
And while things don't happen daily, there are things that happen alot

Fast Food robberies

Bank robberies

Grocery stores have banks in them, that get robbed

Car jacking - to and from the store

Mall Shooting (Oregon in 2012 I think)

Church shootings

Things happen EVERYWHERE, and remind her that all those other victims thought they were going to be safe also.
Just because it only happens to the .01%, I would hate to the that .01 % and not be prepared

There are 2 rules:
1 - carry 24/7 or guess right
2 - I carry a gun, because I cannot carry a cop

[Cshuff21]

Good points, thank you.

I plan to carry when I can, just don't want her snickering behing my back. I think once I carry for a couple of months she will forget about it and get used to it. She is all for me getting it don't get me wrong but don't think she understands the reason behind it.

[suthdj]

While you are driving 70 down the highway unbuckle her seat belt and ask her why she needs it all the time.

[AlaskanInTexas]

Just have her watch the news.

Agree. My wife thought it was dumb for me to carry a gun. She has never in her life seen any act of violence whatsoever and never reads the news. We live in what I believe was ranked the #1 safest city in Texas (if not the US). That is the world to her and the lens through which she saw my decision. But carefully forwarding stories like this http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/wo ... der/nTm7s/ have profounding affected her way of thinking. She is still not totally on board, but I think she sees things differently now.

[chasfm11]

As long as you are not getting active pushback, carry when you can. Some do get push back. I have a friend whose wife is constantly telling him carrying isn't necessary.

1. Time is your friend. I had issues early on but behind them was an unvoiced concern about my being arrested or having an ND. As she has realized that neither has happened. I'm now encouraged to carry or, more correctly, she checks to see that I am carrying. I recently went through an incident at a wanding spot for a local city event. She laughed about it. That would have NEVER happened 4 years ago.

2. Take the time to make her aware of the crime blotter items that come up on this forum. Most people recognize that incidents in Wal-Mart parking lots, etc. could happen in THEIR Wal-Mart parking lot. If the threats of bad situations start to seem real to her, it is likely that she will change her approach.

3. Start working on reading material. I went through about 15 books that were recommended in some of the CHL related events that I attended. I've been able to convince my wife to read some of those. Having the message come from someone outside can increase its impact.

4. Treat carrying seriously but without calling attention to it, especially at first. When she cannot tell that you are carrying, she may recognize that no one else will be able to either. Being cautious myself at first, I was careful about printing at all. Over the years, I've quit worrying about that and so has my wife.

Not everyone reaches the same point at the same time. Some people need time to evolve and be comfortable. Patience and persistence are your allies.

[Pecos]

Just do it...

There are a lot of people who think carrying a weapon makes you a paranoid warmonger out looking for trouble.

A few points I use for my own peace of mind:

1. It's my right to carry and I don't owe anyone an explanation about why...
2. It's better to have a gun and not need it than to need it and not have it...
3. If I knew I was going to need it (i.e. Why are you carrying there, are you expecting a gun fight?), I wouldn't go there...
4. Don't make an issue out of it, just carry as you see fit within the law...

My two cents...

I like this RLGold!

[Robert*PPS]

My wife questions me almost every time I put it on. I answer her questions, but I never stop putting it on. Case in point. This weekend, we traveled to Carlsbad NM for a wedding. We get back to the hotel after all of the festivities and, after changing clothes, decide to go down and have one more smoke before we hit the hay. As I'm changing clothes, she sees that I'm readying to strap up. She says, "are you really gonna take your gun out when we are just going down for a smoke?". I didn't respond sarcastically or anything, I simply told her that yes, I was because if we were to be robbed in a hotel parking lot at 11pm, my gun would not be beneficial to us in the room. She nodded and didn't say another word. Sometimes I think she just thinks its a macho thing, when that is not the point at all. After I gave her the short explanation, she saw the logic in carrying, and nodded in agreement.

My advice is to answer matter-of-factly to her questions...no bravado, no sarcasm, and be nonchalant. The more routine you seem to be about the process, the quicker it will be just a routine thing for her.

[SewTexas]

first off....most of these comments are going to get her off your back alright...and straight onto the couch. I take it you love her? and you want to protect her? and you feel that protecting her is probably one of your primary responsibilities? and you would die for her? so tell her that! then mention the church shooting, and various other crimes.

Please, don't do the whole "it's my right and darn it all you're not going to stop me" rant....'cause guess where that's going to land you?....

[RoyGBiv]

Last month in Keller...
http://www.star-telegram.com/2013/09/13 ... .html?rh=1" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
I was in this store about 2 hours before the robbery.

A few months prior.... Does your wife buy gas in Keller?
viewtopic.php?f=26&t=63629" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Shop at Khols?
http://crimeblog.dallasnews.com/2012/10 ... ck_check=1" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Ever shop at Southlake Town Square?
http://www.wfaa.com/news/crime/Gunfire- ... 84781.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Live in a nice house?
http://www.wfaa.com/news/crime/Suspecte ... 92281.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://www.star-telegram.com/2013/02/06 ... ested.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Drive a nice car with "stuff" in it?
http://www.star-telegram.com/2013/07/08 ... ed-to.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Keller is safe, relatively... But certainly not crime free...
https://www.crimereports.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://spotcrime.com/tx/keller" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
2013 Crime Report: http://www.cityofkeller.com/modules/sho ... entid=9355" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Cshuff21]

first off....most of these comments are going to get her off your back alright...and straight onto the couch. I take it you love her? and you want to protect her? and you feel that protecting her is probably one of your primary responsibilities? and you would die for her? so tell her that! then mention the church shooting, and various other crimes.

Please, don't do the whole "it's my right and darn it all you're not going to stop me" rant....'cause guess where that's going to land you?....

Yes to all of the above and we have two kids ages 9 and 2 and one more on the way and of course feel the same way about them. I like your approach. I think she will appreciate and understand that a lot better. She is one of those that doesn't expect anything to ever happen to her or us and that concerns me as well!

[Cshuff21]

Great articles, thanks RoyGBiv

[RoyGBiv]

Great articles, thanks RoyGBiv

You're welcome...

I forgot to add... "take her shooting".
Shoot Smart is close by (I-35W and Golden Triangle) and is a GREAT place to take new shooters.
If you can find any ammo ( ) I'd let her shoot my .22 (pistol). A bit heavy, but great for new shooters.
Shoot Smart also has rentals.

You won't "win her over" with one visit, but if she's even slightly open minded about it, even one shooting session makes a difference.

[Cshuff21]

Great articles, thanks RoyGBiv

You're welcome...

I forgot to add... "take her shooting".
Shoot Smart is close by (I-35W and Golden Triangle) and is a GREAT place to take new shooters.
If you can find any ammo ( ) I'd let her shoot my .22 (pistol). A bit heavy, but great for new shooters.
Shoot Smart also has rentals.

You won't "win her over" with one visit, but if she's even slightly open minded about it, even one shooting session makes a difference.

Actually that is where I go for practice and taking my CHL class this Sat. It is literally 5 min from my house. Great place.