Getting CHL and Wife issue

[RPBrown]

Thank you for all opinions and I will take each one in consideration as they are all good points. One think I want to clear up is that my wife isn't doing it out of disrespect or anything like that at all. She just comes from a mindset that nothing will ever happen to her. In the end it will be my decision whether or not to carry and I know she will eventually feel better and get used to me having it.

Those killed in the Luby's shooting, the church shooting's, school shootings and any other shootings all had a mindset that nothing would happen to them also. My wife was the same way until she started really watching the news at my request. Now she carries also.

[carlson1]

I am fortunate to have a wife who not only wants me to carry, but she carries also. Two things I think are the most important until she warms up to the ideal. . .

Please, don't do the whole "it's my right and darn it all you're not going to stop me" rant....

My wife doesn't know when I carry. I am very discrete about it and I have good equipment.

[flechero]

When I first got a chl, my wife asked many of the same questions... I simply told her that it wouldn't be something she'd notice much (if at all) and as long as she didn't make it an issue, it wouldn't be. I never put it on in front of her and she never once noticed the gun. She often asked why I wasn't carrying- which I was and that surprised her because she didn't notice or see any difference in me. (except I no longer ordered a beer with dinner out)

Within a year she started checking to make sure I had it when we went out. Within 5 years, she had her own CHL. She still doesn't carry daily but were getting closer.

You won't win her over immediately, but if you respect her concerns and act accordingly, I think you'll win her over soon enough.

[cw3van]

Just do it...

There are a lot of people who think carrying a weapon makes you a paranoid warmonger out looking for trouble.

A few points I use for my own peace of mind:

1. It's my right to carry and I don't owe anyone an explanation about why...
2. It's better to have a gun and not need it than to need it and not have it...
3. If I knew I was going to need it (i.e. Why are you carrying there, are you expecting a gun fight?), I wouldn't go there...
4. Don't make an issue out of it, just carry as you see fit within the law...

My two cents...

I like this RLGold!

About sums it up for my part good post.

[RogueUSMC]

When I first got my CHL, my wife just had the attitude that she would humor me...that I would just 'get over it' at some point. She and my daughter humored me when I said we were going to have a class on 'what to do when'...

When I didn't 'get over it' like she thought I would, that's when she started asking the questions like, "do you have to carry it everywhere?"...or "we are just going to church!"

After the first half dozen times sha asked, "is it loaded?!" to which my response was something to the effect of, "it wouldn't do me much good if it wasn't", she stopped asking.

It has been a gradual acceptance so far. I keep a loaded Ruger MKII target pistol in her nightstand and she has gotten used to the idea that it was there.

Later she allowed me to place the Model60 Smith in my 18yo daughter's nightstand. My daughter is very proficient with that pistol at the range and her bedroom is in the other side of the house. If someone is in the living room, they are between me and her. She understands that, when the alarm goes off in the house, she imediately opens the drawer and get's the pistol into her hands. And that if the alarm is going off and someone opens her bedroom door that she does not recognize and does not Identify themselves to her, she is to not pass go, not collect $200...she is to squeeze the trigger.

A few weeks ago, my daughters boyfriend came over unexpectedly. He opens the door to the garage and the chime sounds (one of my pet peeves is him being allowed to just walk into my house). My wife's eyes go wide. I can see in her eyes, "what did he tell me to do in those silly classes?...what did he tell me to do?..." She told me later she remembered that I said she was to grab a cell phone and make a beeline to the master bedroom closet (picking up a firearm if there was one available on the way) and call 911 and was ready if I gave the word. She is starting to gradually realize that while she was 'humoring me', I wasn't so silly afterall.

My point is, those in your household need to know their role (in the home and out and about) if you ever have to goto your gun.

Just my two cents adjusted for inflation...

[mack113]

I am getting my CHL and my wife asked me the other day, "Are you going to carry your gun with you all the time?" My response to her was that yes I planned on carrying when I am able to. She kinda laughed and made fun and said "so when you go to the store or anywhere you are taking your gun with you?" I said absolutely! But I get the feeling she is making fun and doesn't think it is necessary. What is a good way to make her realize that if you have your plastic you should carry all the time?

Buy your wife a copy of...Lessons from Armed America...by Mark Walters and Kathy Jackson. Ask her to make an honest effort to read the book.....she might begin to appreciate the fact you'll be carrying a firearm.

Just my 2 cents.

[Oldgringo]

{snip}

But seriously....... my ex-wife AND her mother used to make fun of me for various stupid reasons. The one I remember the most is mocking me for the way I walked. I have no idea why. Friends on this forum who know me will tell you that I have a perfectly normal walk, but my wife and MIL used to mock me for it. Note, I said EX-wife. My current wife of 25 years is a far better person than that.

Just out of curiosity, what is a "perfectly normal walk"?

[CHLLady]

Hubby asks ME if I'm carrying! He's getting lazy. No, not really, just that his gun is too big to conceal in summer.

I was not going to get my CHL, but certainly encouraged hubby to get it. My instructor convinced me to do it. I'm so glad I did. I do not regret it one bit.

I would just make it a point to share current crime events with her. Discuss them together. The most recent is the South FW McDonalds attempted robbery. This is a scenario that we often find ourselves in. She will see the value in it. It just may take time. Stay strong, you are doing the right thing!

[SewTexas]

while I wasn't ness. "uncomfortable" with guns, I did grow up in Texas, and I dealt with what discomfort I had in my first year of college, I admit I didn't understand why we needed a gun with us everytime we went to Walmart or church...although Luby's was fine ....OK, I was inconsistent I was young My husband just sat me down and basically said "I love you, I believe God put me on this earth to protect you and our children and I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to you and I could have prevented it but didn't have my gun" it's been a long time but it was something along those lines, but it's words like that that will melt your lady's knees.

it didn't take me long to realize that if that were true for my husband then I needed to get my license too. So that I could protect our children when he wasn't around and to be back-up for him, we are partners after all.

[CHLLady]

How can you turn from a heartfelt declaration as that?!

It is empowering to know that I can protect my children as well.

[mlawler]

When my sisters asked me how they could tell if I was carrying, I answered "If I'm wearing pants!"

[steve817]

I am getting my CHL and my wife asked me the other day, "Are you going to carry your gun with you all the time?" My response to her was that yes I planned on carrying when I am able to. She kinda laughed and made fun and said "so when you go to the store or anywhere you are taking your gun with you?" I said absolutely! But I get the feeling she is making fun and doesn't think it is necessary. What is a good way to make her realize that if you have your plastic you should carry all the time?

My wife has generally been supportive since I started carrying. There have been times she bas kind of chuckled when I put my rig on before leaving the house.

Back in August she sent me to the CVS around the corner to pick up something for her, It was about midnight so I grabbed my gun and holster and started putting it on. Once again she says " You really need that to go to CVS? Without even looking at her I just said "It's after dark". I ran the errand without event and came home.

Less than an hour and a half later that same store was robbed. While hearing the news that it happened so close to the house was disturbing, I do have to admit that I enjoyed telling her about it just a little bit

[Monson]

If this helps, and this isn't concealed carry, just anti gun. My wife, since I've married her, hasn't approved of firearms. Bad experience with her previous husband. We had a bad experience with a man trying to get in the house and I held him at 12 ga. point (that's like gunpoint but bigger) until the LEO's arrived. Since then she's bought me a Winchester 94 and a Glock (which I returned for a 1911) . Experience changes people.

[jmra]

My wife claimed ownership of one of my guns before she claimed me. Knew then we would never have gun issues.
She bought my first Glock, my first AR, and my first tactical shotgun. Now that the boys are getting old enough to shoot the bigger guns she's buying all that stuff for them. I am truly blessed.

[stoneg1]

Here are some of my responses I give to those who ask me why I carry all the time. I ask them if they have ever had an auto accident and if they respond yes, then I ask them why did they drive that route or even leave the house if they knew they were going to have an accident. Or I may ask why do they carry full coverage on their auto insurance. They could save a lot of money if they wait a few days before they have an accident to get full coverage. Or I may ask them where they purchased their crystal ball so I can get one. Why do the police carry their firearms when they are on duty? Many of us may encounter bad people just as they do so we also need our sidearm.