The enemy within

[rm9792]

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. Initially, the reason for getting my CHL was because we're going (her family's) home to North Carolina in September, and she thought her father might give her one of his many guns. In North Carolina, we couldn't even carry the gun from his house to our car without a license. .

This would be protected under federal law regarding transport wouldnt it? No license needed? I find it hard to believe NC doesnt let you go to the range or go hunting?

[baldeagle]

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. Initially, the reason for getting my CHL was because we're going (her family's) home to North Carolina in September, and she thought her father might give her one of his many guns. In North Carolina, we couldn't even carry the gun from his house to our car without a license. .

This would be protected under federal law regarding transport wouldnt it? No license needed? I find it hard to believe NC doesnt let you go to the range or go hunting?

My reading of North Carolina law was that you couldn't leave your premises with a weapon unless you had a permit. I may have read it wrong. This was early on in the process and was the impetus for getting my CHL. According to this site, I have to have a CHL before her father can even give her a gun.

Under North Carolina law, it is unlawful for any person, firm, or corporation to sell, give away, transfer, purchase, or receive, at any place in the state, any pistol, unless the purchaser or receiver has first obtained a license or permit to receive such a pistol by the sheriff of the county where the purchaser or receiver resides, or the purchaser or receiver possesses a valid North Carolina-issued concealed carry permit. This requirement to obtain a permit prior to the transfer of a pistol applies not only to a commercial transaction, typically at a sporting goods store, but also between private individuals or companies throughout North Carolina. N.C. Gen. Stat. § 14-402(a)

Furthermore, it's unlawful, in North Carolina, to possess a concealed weapon without a permit, and concealed is defined quite broadly.

North Carolina law strictly controls the ability of individuals to carry weapons concealed. Except under the limited concealed handgun permit provisions of state law, described in Sections III. B and III. C of this publication, it is unlawful for any person in North Carolina, except when on his or her own premises, to willfully and intentionally carry concealed, either on or about his or her person, any "Bowie Knife, dirk, dagger, slingshot, loaded cane, metallic knuckles, razor, shurikin, stungun, or other deadly weapon of like kind.” Specifically exempted from the requirements of this law are ordinary pocket knives carried in a closed position. An ordinary pocket knife is defined as being "a small knife, that is designed to be carried in a pocket or purse, which has its cutting edge and point entirely enclosed by its handle. The knife must not be capable of being opened by a throwing, explosive, or spring action." N.C. Gen. Stat. § 14-269

Whether, in a given case, a weapon is concealed from the public, is a question of fact to be resolved by a jury. By using the phrase "concealed about his or her person," this law makes it illegal to have a weapon concealed not only on a person, but also within a person's convenient control and easy reach.

So rather than take any chances, I determined that I'd better have a Texas CHL before I get to her father's house.

[baldeagle]

Went to Sams today. My first time out with a concealed weapon. When I got home, my wife's first words were, "Did you shoot anybody?"

Got lots of work to do with her.....

[Yankee Girl]

Please don't consider her as an "enemy within". That attitude will only calcify whatever unease or fear she has of the concept of you going armed. A year ago, I had not, and would not, touch a handgun of any sort - an irrational fear to be sure, but a strong one, and based (I thought) on sound reasoning from a past experience. Today I am eagerly awaiting my CHL and shopping for holsters; later today my husband and both sons and I are headed to PSC to practice.

What changed? Only my exposure to patient, sane, calm folks who were willing to take their time and explain their opinions, their guns, and how the guns worked - and in the doing so, taught me how their minds worked. Yes, my husband or any of my gun-comfortable friends could have labeled me, dismissed me as a kook or "eh, she's a woman, you can't explain anything to your wife so don't try" ... and thereby reinforced my (erroneous) opinion of shooters as an irrational, untrustworthy sort. They didn't, I didn't cling to my inaccurate opinions, and here I am.

I can't tell you precisely how to win your wife over - you will have to figure that out based on how you have successfully influenced each other in the past, whether that's a logical debate or anecdotal evidence or simply carrying around her until she's used to the idea. But please - try. Don't label her as an enemy simply because she doesn't see it your way, or she never will.

[chasfm11]

This isn't a question of if you should carry, it's a matter of responsibility to carry. Remember as a licensed CHL holder you also represent all CHL holders. What good is a license in your pocket if that once in a lifetime need to defend yourself arises. It's not where your going, it's what's along the way you should worry about. If you stop for gas at a stop and rob you really increase the need to carry IMHO. With rights come responsibilities.

Sorry, but I don't accept that it is my "responsibility" to carry. As the phrase goes "Carry 24x7 or GUESS RIGHT." There are going to be times when I choose the latter. It is still a choice.

By having my CHL, I've confirmed that I support the RKBA under the 2nd amendment. I don't have to prove it to my fellow CHL holders. I'm a moderate political activist (now, never was before) and am a strong proponent of active support of all of the Bill of Rights, not just the 2nd Amendment. I'm not a one issue kind of a guy. I expect my fellow CHL holders to accept my personal decisions.

You are absolutely right. If I elect to go out of the house without my gun and I find myself in a position to be robbed, I'm going to regret it. I might even die because of my decision. I will tell you, however that that possibility is in a category that I call HBL (hit by lightning). On the average, a person has a better chance of being hit by lightning than being a store where a robbery goes down. Don't get me wrong, however. I HAVE BEEN hit by lightning twice (once in Hershey Park, PA personally and another time inside of our house in Chalfont, PA). It can and does happen. If I had to rate my risks where having a gun might help me, home invasions and problems while we are out in our RV are far above being in a store robbery.

I will also tell you that I think there are a lot of situations that I might face where my gun may not help me. Remember that my goal is to protect myself and my family. In the face of overwhelming odds (4+ BGs all with some sort of heavy weapons), I might in not much better position than I was without a gun. I'm certainly not well trained enough to use a hand gun to take on multiple heavy gun toting assailants at the same time. By the same token, I'd put a the chance of my facing a situation like that at near the bottom of my risk scale.

So, I'm sorry, but I don't see this as a completely black and white issue. I'm trying to study and practice tactical use of my hand gun and, in a year, I might feel very differently. In the end, however, I'm still the one who has to make decisions for myself and my family.

[centexrandy]

Went to Sams today. My first time out with a concealed weapon. When I got home, my wife's first words were, "Did you shoot anybody?"

Got lots of work to do with her.....

Bwahahahahaha
I'm sorry I just found humor in that!!

[Bart]

My reading of North Carolina law was that you couldn't leave your premises with a weapon unless you had a permit. I may have read it wrong. This was early on in the process and was the impetus for getting my CHL. According to this site, I have to have a CHL before her father can even give her a gun.

NC is an unlicened open carry state so there's no problem leaving your premises with a firearm. However, it is illegal to conceal a firearm on your person in public unless you have a permit, are police, etc.

Even with a ccw permit, it's against Federal Law for a Texas resident to get a handgun as a gift in another state.

[baldeagle]

Please don't consider her as an "enemy within".

I don't. The choice of title was meant to be provocative. We've been married 38 years. She is my best friend and my constant companion. I hate traveling without her, because I can't sleep when she's not beside me. This gun-totin' stuff is new to us, and it's taking some adjusting on both of our parts - first to overcome the attitude that there is something wrong with people who feel they need to carry guns all the time, and second to overcome the safety concerns.

Hey, she's going to the range with me next weekend to shoot the P239. That's a huge milestone for her. And I'm very proud of her for deciding to continue down this path even though it makes her uncomfortable at times. We've had plenty of recent discussions about how, when you get older, you become more of a target and less capable of physically defending yourself. Guns are the great equalizer, especially for her. She's only 5 feet tall. She'll come around. She's already headed in the right direction.

[chasfm11]

Please don't consider her as an "enemy within". That attitude will only calcify whatever unease or fear she has of the concept of you going armed. A year ago, I had not, and would not, touch a handgun of any sort - an irrational fear to be sure, but a strong one, and based (I thought) on sound reasoning from a past experience. Today I am eagerly awaiting my CHL and shopping for holsters; later today my husband and both sons and I are headed to PSC to practice.

Yours is a point well taken. One accomplishes nothing by the implied confrontation that the term "enemy" implies. I suspect, however, that Baldeagle and I share being placed in a quasi-adversarial role and this is underscored by his wife's comment about "did you shot anybody?" I can assure that I'm not seeking conflict on this or any other matter. Left to my own devices, I'm simply going to do what I'm going to do. It is "other side of the discussion" who is trying to dictate my actions (i.e. forcing me not to carry) against my own will. I hope that you can understand that that leaves me in a conflicted situation. I don't have to say anything at all to perpetuate it. Having been admonished once, I'm not going to make the mistake of zealously talking on the subject again.

We often use the term "enemy" in rather loose context. One of my favorite phrases is "Perfect is the enemy of good" The implication is that some folks try to do something perfectly the first time rather than accomplishing something good and improving on it over time. It is the heart of the Kaizen method
In this context, the term enemy doesn't come close to suggesting the annihilation of an opponent.

I agree with your reconciliation suggestions. I know for sure that a slow, sure, steady approach is best. We've gotten past her repugnance to the idea of my even owning a holster. Time and patience are my friends. I continue to respond to her comments positively as she mentally works through the whole gun idea. I hope that some day, like you, she will want to take her CHL. Right now, however, I'd settle for just her passive acceptance of frequent carry.

[chasfm11]

Even with a ccw permit, it's against Federal Law for a Texas resident to get a handgun as a gift in another state.

I don't want to hijack this thread on this comment but would like to explore it further.

- it is my understanding that I break no laws if I buy a gun in Texas from an individual
- it is my understanding that I can drive to OK to buy a gun from an individual. What is about NC that would make that different?

And if selling a gun individual to individual is OK, could his FIL sell it to him for $1 and have that be legal?

I'm just curious. I have a personal situation that is close to this one but this is a public forum and I'm not going to provide those details.

[Bart]

- it is my understanding that I can drive to OK to buy a gun from an individual. What is about NC that would make that different?

No difference in Federal Law. You can do it but you're breaking the law if you do.

[J.R.@A&M]

One out of every 256 homes had a house fire last year, one in 50 people was a victim of violent crime. You insure your house every day, you can't just insure it for certain days. The only way to get the right mindset is to carry every day, before you know it, it will seem weird when you can't carry.

I completely agree with this logic, although I highly suspect these statistics. Way too high. But then, if the risk of home burning down was on 1/20,000 (which is roughly the average violent crime rate in my city), i'd still have homeowner's insurance, and I still regularly carry.

As for the OP, my wife is hardly pro-gun, more like outta sight, outta mind. so I use her as a test of my concealment.

[baldeagle]

My reading of North Carolina law was that you couldn't leave your premises with a weapon unless you had a permit. I may have read it wrong. This was early on in the process and was the impetus for getting my CHL. According to this site, I have to have a CHL before her father can even give her a gun.

NC is an unlicened open carry state so there's no problem leaving your premises with a firearm. However, it is illegal to conceal a firearm on your person in public unless you have a permit, are police, etc.

That's not exactly true.

§ 153A‑129. Firearms.

A county may by ordinance regulate, restrict, or prohibit the discharge of firearms at any time or place except when used to take birds or animals pursuant to Chapter 113, Subchapter IV, when used in defense of person or property, or when used pursuant to lawful directions of law‑enforcement officers. A county may also regulate the display of firearms on the public roads, sidewalks, alleys, or other public property. This section does not limit a county's authority to take action under Chapter 14, Article 36A. (1973, c. 822, s. 1; 2006‑264, s. 16.)

So you're at the mercy of each county when it comes to open carry. Unless you can figure out a way to open carry without using a public road, sidewalk, alley or any other public property, the rules of a particular county may restrict your open carry to your own home and personal property.

[Jim Lockey]

when you have been married 50 years or more you will understand, maybe.

Some times people here make me wonder. We live in one of the suburbs of Dallas and do not lock our doors during the day, but do so at night. We also lock our doors when we are gone. I sure as heck don't carry a gun in our own house, but I can get to one within 20 seconds. If we go shopping at a Sam's I do not carry any weapon. Maybe your Sam's is in a bad place?

Jimmy