Encouraging girlfriends to not to be sheep

[CHLLady]

I have been trying to encourage my new civilian friends to be more situationally aware and about home security. Being recently retired from the military (spouse) and living overseas for so long has given me a unique perspective on crime and awareness. I do my best to share whatever I can on crime and info. On security in the home, but I'm not getting the response I'd hoped for.

Should I give up or continue to plug it whenever possible? I'm being accused of being paranoid. they're used to it, I'm not!

Example of 2 changes that shocked me:

Security driving around on golf carts at the grocery store. The grocery store?! Saw that on a trip home between duty stations and was so surprised and uncomfortable that things had gotten that bad.

Guard towers at the mall! They look like the ones from prisons. I had to take pictures of that and shared with my friends Overseas.

[chuck j]

I live in a smaller town , when I go to the 'big cities' I am shocked at the amount of security even at the grocery stores . Lots of bullet proof glass and safety measures in place,a lot different than home .

[RPBrown]

Unfortunatly things have gotten that bad. Actually bad enough for my wife, who 10 years ago didn't like the idea that I had a gun in the house much less carry one, has had her CHL for 4 years now (up for her 1st renewal).

In the cities, even driving to the store can create hazzards with the amount of road rage that happens. Makes me want to move back to the country

[MadMonkey]

Guard towers at the mall! They look like the ones from prisons. I had to take pictures of that and shared with my friends Overseas.

99% of the time there's nobody manning those things, they claim it's a deterrent. If there's someone in it, it's usually Citizens on Patrol or something like that.

[hpcatx]

Guard towers at the mall! They look like the ones from prisons. I had to take pictures of that and shared with my friends Overseas.

99% of the time there's nobody manning those things, they claim it's a deterrent. If there's someone in it, it's usually Citizens on Patrol or something like that.

Foucault's analysis of Benthem's Panopticon... As long as we think we're being watched, we'll moderate our behavior. Are red light cameras or our airport security theater any different? Too bad it's most effective on the members of society that pose the least threat.

[Zen]

So, to your original question, I would continue to "plug" what you feel is important. Unless being told, "Stop it, I don't want to hear it," there is a chance you'll reach people.

However, the message is important. You're not asking them to buy a gun or carry one (that may be a decision down the road). You are asking them to be aware of their surroundings and make decisions that improve their security.

I've been working this with some of my less than optimally SA friends. I am clear to point out that it is not about being paranoid, but being prepared. It's hard to get past the "it will never happen to me" syndrome.

I use present day examples to get my point across.

"Did the NJ mom expect this guy to break in and beat her savagely? Did complying with his demands give her any leniency?"

"Ask this individual if he ever thought he would be attacked by a dog while running this trail."

We cannot prevent everything, but we can be aware to reduce the likelihood and make us more difficult targets. Outside of being aware, we must use what we can - alarm systems, locking doors, not answering them when we're not expecting someone, having our phones handy to dial 911, etc.

[Hoosier Daddy]

The occasional comment is one thing but I don't think many adults like being nagged.

[Middle Age Russ]

Awareness buys time. Time gives options -- to avoid trouble or to deal with it.

Stressing awareness to anyone is never a bad idea. Every day it seems that I see several people oblivious to the world around them as they walk, run or drive around. This behaviour bothers me on two levels -- they may, through their lack of awareness, end up in situations that put themselves in danger, and it may also endanger others, including me and my loved ones. Partly because of this, I consider heightened awareness an absolute must whenever I am away from my home (I do relax a little at home, though).

[OldCannon]

99% of the time there's nobody manning those things, they claim it's a deterrent. If there's someone in it, it's usually Citizens on Patrol or something like that.

In most places, they're unmanned 100% of the time. Insurance discounts for malls are for having the towers, not manning them. Also, have you noticed the lack of A/C in those towers? :)

[CHLLady]

So, to your original question, I would continue to "plug" what you feel is important. Unless being told, "Stop it, I don't want to hear it," there is a chance you'll reach people.

However, the message is important. You're not asking them to buy a gun or carry one (that may be a decision down the road). You are asking them to be aware of their surroundings and make decisions that improve their security.

I've been working this with some of my less than optimally SA friends. I am clear to point out that it is not about being paranoid, but being prepared. It's hard to get past the "it will never happen to me" syndrome.

I use present day examples to get my point across.

"Did the NJ mom expect this guy to break in and beat her savagely? Did complying with his demands give her any leniency?"

"Ask this individual if he ever thought he would be attacked by a dog while running this trail."

We cannot prevent everything, but we can be aware to reduce the likelihood and make us more difficult targets. Outside of being aware, we must use what we can - alarm systems, locking doors, not answering them when we're not expecting someone, having our phones handy to dial 911, etc.

Zen, I think you said it perfectly. I will use the not paranoid, but prepared line next time. It's not something I nag or preach about, but I do share incidents such as those Zen mentioned as well as general safety info. and links on Facebook.
They are wonderful ladies, I just see things differently. I won't give up. They are worth it. I would never pressure anyone into carrying. It's a personal choice. I gladly share my experience with them when they ask.

I'll have to check for the ac. I would hope they have it, especially now that it's 100 degree weather. I've seen the towers occupied. Maybe it's only during peak seasons?

[Zen]

For those that are close to me, I just tell them I care and just don't want to see them hurt. A lot is in the delivery.

[CHLLady]

Exactly right. Thank you.

[OldCannon]

Have them take a "Refuse To Be A Victim" class. It's definitely NOT about guns (it doesn't teach anything about guns, actually), but about increasing situational awareness. The first step it to get them thinking about how the criminal thinks, and how to get them to NOT look like an easy victim. The gun stuff can follow.

Baby steps.

[The Annoyed Man]

Should I give up or continue to plug it whenever possible? I'm being accused of being paranoid. they're used to it, I'm not!

Continue to plug it, graciously, and don't be disappointed when people don't take it seriously. And when bad ju-ju hits them at 3 a.m. and they are suddenly shocked into awareness, graciously resist the opportunity to say "I TOLD you so!" and just offer to help in any way you can. Now you have another opportunity to—graciously—say "well, here's how I deal with that....."

Denial is denial is denial. In any 12 step recovery program, the hardest step is walking in that door for the first time, expecting to be judged and looked down upon for one's own folly. The best part about walking in that door for the first time is realizing that you're in the same boat that everyone else is in, you're not judged for your flaws, you are affirmed for deciding to do something about them, and you are taught and modeled how do go about it.

That is always how defeating denial works, regardless of the arena, and that is how we can be most effective in changing the hearts and minds of our friends who are in denial about the state of the world's warmth and fuzziness.

So when your friends are finally forced to confront their denial, don't judge them or beat up on them. Be willing to guide them in the proverbial paths of righteousness....so to speak.

[CHLLady]

Have them take a "Refuse To Be A Victim" class. It's definitely NOT about guns (it doesn't teach anything about guns, actually), but about increasing situational awareness. The first step it to get them thinking about how the criminal thinks, and how to get them to NOT look like an easy victim. The gun stuff can follow.

Baby steps.

Great idea. Thank you. I will have to see if there is one around.

I understand what you are saying AM. I just dont want tragedy to wake them up. That's what motivates me.

If I am patient, the message may sink in. And happily I can say you all are right, I saw a friend share something safety related today and I was smiling to myself. Yep, baby steps. It feels great.