valentines day gift

[liberty2014]

i was dating a girl for about 8 months and things were great, her dad liked me and my grandma liked her. she spent a few days in the hospital with me when i had surgery and even brought me blue bell during my recovery process. she knew i loved guns that i was lusting after a smith and wesson 500 magnum for a good 2 or 3 months. valentines day 2012 rolled around and i made the trip to cabelas in Buda the choice to spend what most people spend on an AR and picked up that 5 shot revolver, it was a gift to myself from myself. as you can guess i was pretty excited and i told everybody what i go. at the time i really did care about this girl so i picked up a nice bracelet from zales. that evening i picked up her for dinner, she acted like something was wrong and didn't talk much on the way to the restaurant. we get there and she gives me a serious cold evil eye look and ask me "how much did you spend on that gun". i smile and say "a littler $1,200" she then says "you could havee got me something really for valentines day, but instead you got yourself a damn gun" she then proceeds to go on a rant about how im "obsessed" with guns and dont care about anything else and blah blah flipping blah. i tell her that "im not obsessed with guns, im just a Texan". this whole time she didn't ask if i actually got her anything for valentines day or not. i didnt say anything or care to say anything to her after that. i call the waiter and ask for the bill, she calls her friend and she picks her up. that night i send her a picture of the bracelet with the receipt that was a little under $500, she calls me that second and says sorry and all that good stuff. i told her when we met that nothing will ever make me loose interest in my hobby and i felt totally disrespected by her action earlier. i wake up the next morning return the bracelet to zales, and erased her number from my phone and unfriended her on facebook and we havent talked since. i learned my lesson and i will NEVER AGAIN tell a girl how much money i spend on a gun

[RPBrown]

At our house we have a dont ask, dont tell relationship. I dont ask how much she spends on her crafty stuff and she doesnt ask about my gun stuff.

Now, she did get a little upset when I bought a new motorcycle..............until she found out it was for her.

Live and learn grasshopper.

[anygunanywhere]

You seem to have very little understanding about how the feminine mind works.

Having been married for 38 years, I can honestly say that I still have very little understanding about how the feminine mind works. I am, however, a lot better at dodging and dancing around certain issues.

RPBrown's advice is good. It works most of the time.

YMMV

Anygunanywhere

[Jumping Frog]

I only hope that when I die my wife doesn't sell my guns for what she thinks they are worth.

[E.Marquez]

It works differently for each couple..
For my wife of 24 years..We have common interests in Mustangs, Motorcycles, our House, Truck, Toyhauler and well guns.

Some things are common, House, truck, trailer so Spending $$ on those is for both of us.... and the other things.. repair parts and tools are never considered gifts or optional spending, Upgrades, new guns ect are, and we do a hers, mine, hers mine, OURS or buy for both at the same time.

It was harder to do when we first started, but a little money each month to spend as the individual sees fit, not budget money, not recurring expense money, not common things like gas.. Just something goes a long ways to monetary happiness in our house.

I have $500 a month that goes into an older account, wife still has access to it, but Im normally the only one to use it. I spend from that as a way to not dip in to budge money that is in our other account, and to keep from double spending disposable income with my wife. I use that much of that money for recurring stuff most months and some on a new tool or part for the bikes... hers or mine, new sights for a gun maybe. Other times I've spent the entire $500 on payday 2 for a new gun or tool.

It seems a dysfunctional way to manage money to many..my divorced, or always at odds with their spouse over $$$, or broke, or non house owning, non new car, toy owning friends tell us all the time what a bad idea it is to manage our money this way . We smile and remind ourselves we are happy, secure, married to the same friend for 24 years and those telling us we should not be satisfied with the financial arrangement we have, are the ones not happy.

[RoyGBiv]

If things were "great", it might have been worth having an adult discussion about the misunderstanding and the communication issues before parting ways. Relationships are never eternally smooth. It's the one's that can work past the potholes that are the most rewarding.

I hope you get past your bad feelings soon and learn more than "don't ask don't tell" from the experience.

Oh... and... of course I don't have all the facts... so... forgive my bad assumptions please.

[brhalltx]

I only hope that when I die my wife doesn't sell my guns for what she thinks they are worth.

Or what you told her you paid.

[Abraham]

liberty2014 ,

You found about her in time to prevent a huge mistake, like marrying her...

Of course, a fairly good rule of thumb before marrying anyone is knowing them for a minimum of two years. By then, you'll the good, bad and the ugly. In time to be certain about her and she about you...

Dear Abbey has now left the building.

[RPBrown]

I only hope that when I die my wife doesn't sell my guns for what she thinks they are worth.

Or what you told her you paid.

[SewTexas]

in our house we have several common interests: guns, computers, the corgies, his motorcycle, etc

then we each have a couple of things we like to do separately, I sew, he rides, etc

[tbrown]

she then says "you could havee got me something really for valentines day, but instead you got yourself a

Assuming the story is true, you're better off without a gold digger in your life. Trust me on this.

[C-dub]

I only hope that when I die my wife doesn't sell my guns for what she thinks they are worth.

Or what you told her you paid.

Wait wait wait.

What you think she thinks you paid? Or what what you really paid? If she cares, I'd bet she already has a fairly decent idea of how much all or some of them are worth.

I haven't hidden any of my firearm purchases from my wife. She know too much about money for me to get away with anything like that. The only thing I try to do is pace myself on the ammo stockpile.

[Divided Attention]

We typically discuss purchases over $100 except groceries. I got my poodle by a lapse in this guideline by my sweet hubby. My neighbor had offered me a puppy from her litter, and I told her hubby would never agree, but thanks. Went away for the weekend with my daughter to Girl Scout camp and came home to him saying "I might be in trouble, but I got you a revolver!" He had been to the gun show and found a S&W 325PD - Before this revolvers were what I liked best and this 45 was nifty. However being ultra light it was BRUTAL to shoot! My rebuttal to him spending a decent chunk of change without discussing it with me first was "fine, I will just not ask you if I can have one of the puppies". So, "Fang" became my buddy. His name was "PD"at first, but when folks would ask my kids why his name was PD my kids would answer "Daddy got a gun, so momma got a puppy!" The name had to go!

I realize we are married and you were not. To me if it was not a joint account it was none of her business how much you spent on the gun, and she was rude and presumptive to question you and complain about the gift. Personally, I would have preferred the gun over the bracelet, but I am the girl that was excited about getting to go to the live auction and by myself a heifer for my 20th anniversary, got show halters for the following Valentines day along with a VERY nifty Colt 38 revolver with rosewood grips. My friends think I am nuts, but I am just not a jewelry and froo froo kind of girl.

I wish you the best, and if the relationship is special to you, you will attempt to discuss this with her. A good relationship is the most rewarding, exasperating and hardest work I have ever done, and I have been blessed with my amazing hubby for 25 years of marriage and 5 years dating before that.

[baldeagle]

My wife doesn't like me spending money on guns. To punish me she buys stuff for herself of equal value. As long as I can afford it, it seems like a fair deal to me.

[FishInTx]

My wife has her stash and I have mine. As long as the bills and savings get paid first, everybody happy. I think some of the stuff she buys is silly and she says the same about my stuff. Another gun, more ammo? Really?? she says. Oh, and all my stuff was "on sale" or bought "used"!! Real prices almost never get quoted.