Fear reaction: freezing

[Mama Abby]

I have been in more than one terrifying situation in my life and have developed a tendency to freeze when very scared. I have been trying to overcome this the past 2-3 years, and I believe it has been getting better, but still have a few concerns. I thought I had this one conquered until a couple of nights ago, when out for a last smoke before bed I saw a bob cat about 15 feet from me. It was huge. When I got up, it let out a nasty growl and I froze for what seemed like an eternity (probably only a couple of seconds), before making a hasty retreat indoors. I now go out armed with snake shot in my 357 followed by hollow points.

That brings me to the next topic. I have neighbors that are pretty close. If I did have to shoot it is entirely possible that the round would go beyond my target, and I like all my neighbors, and don't like the friendship bracelets that LEO's like to use so much.

How have any of you overcome a freezing tendency, and how do you plan to deal with situations where neighbors are close by?

[Excaliber]

I have been in more than one terrifying situation in my life and have developed a tendency to freeze when very scared. I have been trying to overcome this the past 2-3 years, and I believe it has been getting better, but still have a few concerns. I thought I had this one conquered until a couple of nights ago, when out for a last smoke before bed I saw a bob cat about 15 feet from me. It was huge. When I got up, it let out a nasty growl and I froze for what seemed like an eternity (probably only a couple of seconds), before making a hasty retreat indoors. I now go out armed with snake shot in my 357 followed by hollow points.

That brings me to the next topic. I have neighbors that are pretty close. If I did have to shoot it is entirely possible that the round would go beyond my target, and I like all my neighbors, and don't like the friendship bracelets that LEO's like to use so much.

How have any of you overcome a freezing tendency, and how do you plan to deal with situations where neighbors are close by?

Freezing in the face of threatening circumstances can have both psychological and physiological causes. You may find some enlightening insights into this in a book called Deep Survival. It's a very easy read and provides excellent information on what goes into the 4 responses to fear (fight, flight, freezing, and submission) and why different people have different reactions. It also gives real life examples of how these responses have played out in real life emergencies. I highly recommend it as a starting point to answering your first question.

The short answer to your second question is that if innocent people would be endangered if you shoot, you have no business shooting at all, no matter how frightened you may be. If you injured them you would be criminally liable, and would be guaranteed time in those "friendship bracelets" along with a free ride in one of those cars with the blue lights on top.

[JALLEN]

In about 100,000 minutes of flying as a private pilot, I figure there were only 8-10 minutes where I thought I was about to die. In the "after action reports" of those tense times, I have concluded that the reason I didn't die was that I had been trained to react in certain ways. If you panic in these situations, you might as well just point the nose at the ground. Having the knowledge and confidence to continue flying the airplane, do the check lists, etc. undoubtedly was a major contributing factor in my survival, along with more luck than one can reasonably count on.

I suggest that as you get more training and experience in the use of firearms, more confident in what you can do and ought to do, and more confidence in handling various scenarios with a firearm, you will no longer be as likely to freeze.

[EEllis]

Did you have a gun with you because it sounds like you did not? If so then freezing was most likely the best thing to do. If you are afraid you will freeze in a particular type of situation the best way to overcome that tendency is to practice your reaction to it. Get an airsoft or red gun that matches your carry pistol and practice, practice, practice. The more your responses get to be reflex the less likely you'll freeze. In general I think any self defense training will help even if not gun related but the more going for your gun is a reflex the better. People laugh at me sometimes because a dog will bark or a cat will jump out of a dumpster and they catch me reaching. I'm fine with it. All it costs me is a little chuckle at my expense and if I ever do need it then that reflex might make the difference.

[Pecos]

Mama Abby - if a bobcat growled at me, I'd freeze as well! I wouldn't want to startle it any more and perhaps provoke a sudden attack.

For that reason, I don't think that your previous experiences of freezing are necessarily relevant to this event - I think just about any of us would freeze in that situation for a few seconds, so don't beat yourself up.

As for the neighbors... it's critically important that you're aware of where they are, of course, but if I had an angry mountain-lion on the charge at me, I'm shooting at it - with the full understanding that I'm responsible for every bullet out of my firearm. Just incidentally, being tall helps me - if I happen to be standing up, any shots which missed the animal would likely hit the dirt beyond it.

[SewTexas]

First - freezing is a perfectly normal reaction...don't worry about that. sometimes your brain has to process what you're seeing, and figure out what to do, I bet you weren't standing there for as long as you think.

Second - guns entered my daily life when I was a fairly young mom. We had just moved to the country and suddenly I had a toddler, was living in the country and my husband was leaving town for a week!!! Uhhhh, NOOOOOO!!! take me back to Cali, thank you very much

over the next few nights I had nightmares about a badguy climbing thru my baby's window...
each night I was able to get further into the scenario, ie, the first night I could just get to her door and scream, the second night I grabbed my husband's gun but did nothing but scream....
Finally the 3rd night (he was leaving the next morning) I took the gun pointed it at the bg as he was climbing into the window and said something I can't even remember any more but it seems ba at the time and shot him.....and woke up.
And never had the dream again, because I knew I could do it if I had to to protect my baby

Basically what I'm saying is, at some point your mind will figure out what you need to do to take care of you, be ready. I hope I've helped and haven't confused you even more.

[Diesel42]

Thanks SewTexas for sharing your epiphany.
Mine occured many years ago when I came home to find my house burglerized. The front door was kicked in and the house ransacked. As I went to bed knowing the front door was impossible to lock and there was no one or nothing to warn me if they came back.... I realized I could be violent rather than victimized. In a single moment, the line between "turn the other cheek" and "better you than me" formed and I knew I would defend my home and myself.

To the OP, think about your situation with the bobcat and train yourself to respond to animal threats. As you practise and research the scenario, your "fear" will diminish and your "awareness" will increase.
Happy Trails! N

First - freezing is a perfectly normal reaction...don't worry about that. sometimes your brain has to process what you're seeing, and figure out what to do, I bet you weren't standing there for as long as you think.

Second - guns entered my daily life when I was a fairly young mom. We had just moved to the country and suddenly I had a toddler, was living in the country and my husband was leaving town for a week!!! Uhhhh, NOOOOOO!!! take me back to Cali, thank you very much

over the next few nights I had nightmares about a badguy climbing thru my baby's window...
each night I was able to get further into the scenario, ie, the first night I could just get to her door and scream, the second night I grabbed my husband's gun but did nothing but scream....
Finally the 3rd night (he was leaving the next morning) I took the gun pointed it at the bg as he was climbing into the window and said something I can't even remember any more but it seems ba at the time and shot him.....and woke up.
And never had the dream again, because I knew I could do it if I had to to protect my baby

Basically what I'm saying is, at some point your mind will figure out what you need to do to take care of you, be ready. I hope I've helped and haven't confused you even more.

[texanjoker]

Fight or flight is very common. If you freeze in a particular situation training and muscle memory can help over come that. That is why in LEO work we do so much repetitive by the steps simple shooting in the basic academy to build those skills and via on going training over years and years as the career progresses. Training can kick in w/o one realizing it and save your life. If you know you are going to freeze in a certain type of scenario I would also suggest working on a alternative plan for what to do in that type of event like seek cover, run, ect. There is nothing wrong with getting the heck out of dodge or making a "tactical retreat."

One thought to ponder over the bobcat if you are concerned about shots fired in a neighborhood. Get a decent pistol paint ball marker. That is going to scare a cat away when it bounces off their head and you won't have the collateral damage concern. If you can find them on the 'net, you could even get some pepper balls. They are what we use as a non lethal alternative. Harder then a normal paint ball and filled with pepper powder. I've shot many a dog with them at work and they back the dogs off w/o injury. You can also turn up the pressure on the paint ball marker to make it fire a lot faster then what you would use at the paint ball range.

Side note but the peer counselor in mean wants to mention that if a particular incident keeps flashing back or causing fear one might seek counseling and ask about EMDR. This is a non medicine type of treatment that really does help one process an event and move on.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_moveme ... processing

[ELB]

Texanjoker wins the prize for the best technical solution, the paintball marker, for smaller animals like bobcats and dogs that appear threatening. I don't think bobcats are particularly predatory toward humans. I've encountered some, and we mostly just eyeballed each other and went our separate ways. I would much prefer, as a moral stance, to save lethal force for human predators who should know better, versus critters who are just doing what critters do.

As far as freezing goes, you may find the following helpful:

http://limatunesrangediary.blogspot.com ... aries.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[url= Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected by Rory Miller[/] This has an extended discussion about "the freeze," why it happens, what to do about it. Plus, you should read the whole book. This is a steal of a deal, only $7.69 on Kindle, and you don't have to have a Kindle, just download the free Kindle Reader to your PC. Even if you don't like electronic books, if you can read this forum on the computer, it would be worth it to go thru Rory Miller's book. And the paperback version is only $14.

http://www.activeresponsetraining.net/t ... e-response" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[The Annoyed Man]

There is nothing wrong with getting the heck out of dodge or making a "tactical retreat."

....and if you need to save face, you can always call it a "retrograde advance."

[SewTexas]

There is nothing wrong with getting the heck out of dodge or making a "tactical retreat."

....and if you need to save face, you can always call it a "retrograde advance."

love it!!!!

I didn't run away squealing when I saw that rattlesnake, I made a "retrograde advance" with warning noises for everyone else in the park

[Excaliber]

First - freezing is a perfectly normal reaction...don't worry about that. sometimes your brain has to process what you're seeing, and figure out what to do, I bet you weren't standing there for as long as you think.

Second - guns entered my daily life when I was a fairly young mom. We had just moved to the country and suddenly I had a toddler, was living in the country and my husband was leaving town for a week!!! Uhhhh, NOOOOOO!!! take me back to Cali, thank you very much

over the next few nights I had nightmares about a badguy climbing thru my baby's window...
each night I was able to get further into the scenario, ie, the first night I could just get to her door and scream, the second night I grabbed my husband's gun but did nothing but scream....
Finally the 3rd night (he was leaving the next morning) I took the gun pointed it at the bg as he was climbing into the window and said something I can't even remember any more but it seems ba at the time and shot him.....and woke up.
And never had the dream again, because I knew I could do it if I had to to protect my baby

Basically what I'm saying is, at some point your mind will figure out what you need to do to take care of you, be ready. I hope I've helped and haven't confused you even more.

What's being described as freezing in these posts is actually covering a range of reactions:

1. Remaining still in the face of danger to avoid provoking an attack from a bobcat, snake, etc. until you can figure out how to get away.
2. Having a "deer in the headlights" moment when you OODA Loop is overwhelmed by input that you can't process fast enough.
3. Being physically paralyzed by a perception of danger so that voluntary movement is not possible.

Everyone has moments of #1 and #2 from time to time and they are not of much concern. The third circumstance is more complex and can keep you from taking action you need to do to get out of danger. Understanding which of these things you experience is the first step to managing them.

Having an already thought out and practiced plan of action can greatly shorten #2 and even prevent #3.

[RogueUSMC]

"Retreat, hell! We're not retreating, we're just advancing in a different direction." - General Oliver Prince Smith, USMC