Search found 18 matches

by surferdaddy
Fri Jan 15, 2016 1:59 pm
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

parabelum wrote:There comes a point I suppose at which we all, if we are blessed to see old age, will have to consider these things more.
True words indeed my friend.
by surferdaddy
Fri Jan 15, 2016 11:52 am
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

jmace57 wrote:When my dad was in his early 80s, he removed his S&W 915 from the nightstand and replaced it with his Highway Patrolman. He said "it's too complicated" when I asked him why. That let me know I'd better start monitoring him. Eventually we took the HP away as well. Sometimes, like a car, it's time to give it up.

Good luck.
This evokes imagery of older knights laying down their swords as their watch draws to a close and they surrender their duties to the next. Makes me sad.

Thank you all for sharing my experiences and your comments.

Surfer
by surferdaddy
Wed Dec 23, 2015 11:23 am
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

Just wanted to post an update to this story. My FIL is doing fine and seems to have finally learned a bit from his incident. While this accident could of been the result of his diminished judgement; it was more likely his nativity of firearm safety and operation which caused it. Reviewing my posts makes me cringe a bit as I find my "quick to judge" attitude towards his facilities a bit ignorant and disrespectful. Not sure if it was simply the stress of the situation or what but I will be sure that in the future I am not as quick to judge.

My FIL as of late doesn't handle his weapon in my home, which is fine with me. He is even reluctant to handle a firearm when I present to him an "unloaded" one, but now he takes it, safety checks it, and follows safety procedures. I see his "fear" of firearms as a sign that he finally respects them as we all should.

My FIL seems to be pretty sharp these days, which I'm thankful for beyond measure. He is truly slowing down a bit as time marches on, but hey, he's earned that right. I'm thinking now that his incident was more due to his inexperience and lack of respect for his Teutonic weapon.

Thank you all for your incite into this matter. I never would have seen the folly of my perceptions without the dialogue preserved here for my review.

Surfer
by surferdaddy
Wed Sep 24, 2014 8:43 am
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

WaitingGame wrote:I don't think I have any good advice but with you the best of luck and glad that his injuries weren't as severe as they potentially could've been.

Is mother in law still with us or has she passed? Maybe have her help during cleaning time with a gun check?
WaitingGame, the MIL is still with us but not with him. She recently got into shooting a bit and she is an excellent student and a good shot to boot.
by surferdaddy
Wed Sep 24, 2014 8:40 am
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

C-dub wrote:Surferdaddy's FIL is not the first senior to have a senior moment and there are plenty of youngsters that have had these type of lethal and potentially lethal "senior" moments. The apparent lack of Surferdaddy's unwillingness to go down this road of disarming his FIL can be a tough turn to take for anyone. If his FIL is an intelligent man and does still have some or most of his faculties, he may see the inevitable coming and realize it would be better for everyone's safety to gift most or all of his firearms too family. Some of us have already gone through this with our parents. Some of us are on the verge of that discussion with our parents and some of use may be the parents on the verge of that realization for ourselves and our safety.

BTW, this is nearly four months ago now. How is your FIL doing?
C-dub, he is actually doing quite well. He healed up far better than I would have believed possible. All seems pretty much back to normal; with the exception that I'm aware that this situation will likely rear its head again in the not too distant future.
by surferdaddy
Mon Jun 09, 2014 11:47 am
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

mtnthundr2 wrote:Have you asked your FIL what HE thinks of the incident? Maybe just an open-ended question, something that will give him some room to start an honest conversation with you. He may just surprise you with his insight/answer and may come up with some pretty good solutions for going forward. If nothing else, it will plant a seed of thought for him to self analyze the situation and he may come back to you at a later date and want to continue the conversation. Its a difficult spot to be in for sure, we want to allow them their independence but be able to secure their safety as well as everyone else s :( Good luck to you, I hope things are settling down some for you and your family.
I have actually spoken to him about the incident; he simply (and somewhat casually) attributes the entire affair to a "senior moment." This attitude did NOT make me feel any better, even if it is true. In all honesty, I don't really know what MY expectations are. I feel torn between my obvious duty to keep my family safe and my desire to see my FIL maintain what he feels to be a reasonable level of personal security. I have mentioned that maybe a revolver would be a good idea; because they are not "sneaky," to which he replied "well heck, all guns are treated as if they are always loaded, how should a wheel gun be any different from my glock?" Touché. Of course he is right! However, here again lies an issue; no matter what I do to try to instill safe gun handling in him, he ultimately ignores it after initially seeming receptive. :banghead: In the end I have been forced to side with my better half and restrict what he does in our home. I only hope he stays safe "out there." Don't really know what else to do but hope.

On a side note, he has had all his stitches removed and aside from some diminished mobility and loss of sensitivity, he has healed relatively well.
by surferdaddy
Sun May 04, 2014 2:47 pm
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

I hope she is just overreacting a bit, she does have a knack for the dramatic.
by surferdaddy
Sun May 04, 2014 12:55 pm
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

To be honest to all, I don't yet know what to do. I will have to discuss this matter with the family and hopefully we can come to some consensus as to what action, if any, is necessary. A matter such as this is wrought with many subtle nuances which I am not really able to convey. Such as the fact that I don't feel he is a danger to the public by having his firearm on his person. He is completely aware of chl responsibilities. I am less confident when he actually handles his gun.

I was initially kinda hopeing to get some feedback as to what to do about this complicated subject and I must say thank you all for your input.

To compound the issue, he lives outside McKinney alone on an acre or so; we live in north Fort Worth. My wife and BIL had to go get some of his things for him while he is staying at our house. He seemed reluctant for them to go. It has been a while since any of us were out there. My wife started texting me some pretty disturbing pictures about the conditions he has been living in.

More confused than ever now.

Surfer
by surferdaddy
Sun May 04, 2014 11:42 am
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

He's a grown man who makes his own decisions. Do I wish he practiced more thorough gun safety, yes I do. I also feel that most individuals I have observed could be a bit more aware if their muzzles and trigger fingers, myself included. I can not and should not tell him he doesn't have the right to utilize a firearm to protect himself. I am only saying that there is not a snowballs chance my wife will allow him to carry in our home after he just shot himself through the hand, an I'm not too sure I disagree with her. Family out and about with Papa, he decides and his firearm will be safely holstered according to the law, this is not our rule it is simply the law. A holstered gun is a safe gun.

Did I mention this is a sensitive subject?

Man it sucks, wish I could have prevented it somehow. I am an NRA pistol and home firearm safety instructor for goodness sakes. I've tried to address his lack of gun safety knowledge whenever I've witnessed it, but I probably could have done more and been more adamant. It is sometimes hard dealing with in laws. I will be more stern in the presence of lack gun safety from now on for sure.

Surfer
by surferdaddy
Sun May 04, 2014 11:32 am
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

Not what I'm trying to say either. My home is the only place in which we have any real say, and, my wife will NOT budge on this from what I gather.
by surferdaddy
Sun May 04, 2014 11:22 am
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

I think you have somehow misinterpreted what I was trying to say; I DONT want any intervention, UNLESS I feel it is necessary, which at this time, I do not. It is my hope that this need never arises, however, I don't want to be neglectful and in denial if he could at some future point be helped.

At this time, I simply don't want another firearm related "senior moment" to occur; however, the man is independent and what I deem ALMOST completely competent. He can at this point make his own judgement calls about firearms, driving, etc.. I simply believe that given his somewhat lackadaisical firearm handling skills and this recent event, he really shouldn't be carrying inside our home and I will be glad to secure his firearm in my safe whenever he is here, approx every week.

I honestly am having trouble keeping my wife and BIL from going bloomberg on him. There is no way my wife will ever allow him to carry in our home again.

Surfer
by surferdaddy
Sun May 04, 2014 10:51 am
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

Thank you all for the suggestions and information. I don't want it to seem like my FIL is babbling or anything of that nature. He is an incredibly intelligent man and talking with him in a normal relaxed setting you wouldn't perceive anything the contrary. He simply has moments which he refers to as his "senior moments." He did not grow up in a "gun culture," I did, and his transgressions regarding gun safety are very aparent to me.

I couldn't agree more that an individual who poses an imminent danger to himself or others should not be handling firearms. I do, however, see the potential to restrict ones rights in this matter; perhaps in a politically motivated way. I would have to be absolutely sure that he were mentally incompetent before I would entertain carteling his life in any way. This incident has expectedly sounded alarms and I will be paying much more attention. If I begin to suspect that he is progressing to a more dangerous state I will indeed suggest medical intervention. I know that medical attention can help mitigate certain age related symptoms and I definitely want him to have access to this care.

Sensitive subject for sure but one in which inattention could complicate with possibly dire consequences.

Surfer
by surferdaddy
Sun May 04, 2014 12:12 am
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

A battery of mental tests may be in his future, I'd sure like to see his foggy-ness slow and prove to be merely a symptom of advanced age. I'd sure hate to see the state strip him of his rights; at the same time, we are getting a bit concerned.
by surferdaddy
Sat May 03, 2014 11:07 pm
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital
Replies: 48
Views: 14383

Re: So I'm in the waiting room at Parkland hospital

They are optimistic about the use of his fingers, the surgeon seemed to think he may have some numbness in his middle finger but she wasn't sure. I agree about decisions made in haste, this will all be handled in sensitive manner. In the end, the right to defend one's self, with a firearm or a butter knife, is not one in which I or anyone else can restrict in this great land. My father in law will have to make his own decisions regarding this matter. My wife, however, has likely already decided to disallow his carrying in our home.

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