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It sounds like you have settled on a 40 S&W for your own reasons. As to which one is best is debatable and total up to the beholder. Go to several sporting goods stores and hold the guns that strike your fancy. Feel them, grip them like you are going to shoot. Be very very careful where you point. Some will feel better than others, some you won't like because there ooglay, others will look great but don't feel right.
After you have picked out what you like go to a range(s) that rent the same gun(s) you have decided on and shoot them. Shoot at least 25-50 rounds through each one. Some you won't like because they are to snappy, don't feel right or for other reasons. Try some that were on your maybe list also. Pick the one that just feels right.