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The reason it's asked so much, and the reason everyone is confused is that the answer is "It Depends"

And "It Depends" changes every day in every situation. And boils down to which Investigator you draw, if they're getting along with their spouse and kids that day, which DA you draw and all the little things like what their personal beliefs are about CHL. Then it depends on which lawyer you can afford, and who shows up for jury duty and what kind of mentality they have.

The question that is asked is "When can I shoot?" or "Can I shoot if x happens?" What they really mean is, "Will I have to deal with legal ramifications if I shoot?" The answer to that is a most resounding Yes! You'll have to deal with the police, you more than likely will have to deal with a lawyer. You might have to deal with a DA, a Grand Jury, and later a Judge and Jury. This is a very scary position that most sane people don't want to have to be in. So, while the law may say this or that when it comes to when you should shoot, my personal rule of thumb is only shoot if I feel that myself or some other innocent person may not walk away from the situation if I don't shoot. That way, no matter what I have to deal with on the legal side, I have less to deal with on the conscious side of the matter.

All of this is by no means legal advice, it's just my personal view of the shoot/ no shoot question. It's how I justify my decision to carry. And in my opinion, if someone hasn't decided if the can pull the trigger if that day comes, and that they're ready to deal with the after math of shooting then they really need to do some more soul searching before strapping on a weapon.