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If you have a bulge, chances are if you bend over your shirt will hook on the butt, exposing it.

You might need to examine your clothing choices. I wear alot of baggier t-shirts and button shirts with longer tails. I've already got a beer gut, so I have to stay away from "athletic" cut clothing. No way I can conceal under those.

I know alot of people like leather belts, but I don't. I am hooked on the 5.11 trainer belt. Velcro means you can cinch it down to the right tightness.

I carry a fullsized 1911, which is easily as heavy or heavier than an XDM (but not as wide).

My holster is the Minotaur (comp-tac). By having some forward cant in it, and wearing it just behind 3:00, it hardly bulges ever and is way les likely to snag on my shirt during movement.