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I've seen photos of people who had softened their holster with various products that resulted in holster failure that to the point they shot themselves. I'd never even consider putting oil of any kind on a holster.

As far as holster wear goes, I regard a gun as a tool, not a fashion accessory. A little honest holster wear is no big deal. In fact, a great used gun buy are LEO trade-ins, as these have usually been worn a lot but shot little.