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chasfm11 wrote:I know for sure that a slow, sure, steady approach is best. We've gotten past her repugnance to the idea of my even owning a holster. Time and patience are my friends.

I have to laugh at the concept of spousal acceptance as a Kaizen activity, although when I step back and think objectively about it, that "small improvement/evaluate/figure out next step/repeat" is pretty close to what CDH and my husband (and some other friends) worked on me ... not only the concept of carrying, but the idea of guns as well-machined objects rather than malevolent evil things in and of themselves. Geez ... I'm a continuous improvement project!

No, we haven't had 50 years together, but going on 26, so I do understand the idea of having to pick one's fights carefully, if you will. I was just concerned with the underlying implications of the word "enemy" and, having recently walked in those shoes, wanted a happy outcome for Baldeagle's wife as well.

Please don't consider her as an "enemy within". That attitude will only calcify whatever unease or fear she has of the concept of you going armed. A year ago, I had not, and would not, touch a handgun of any sort - an irrational fear to be sure, but a strong one, and based (I thought) on sound reasoning from a past experience. Today I am eagerly awaiting my CHL and shopping for holsters; later today my husband and both sons and I are headed to PSC to practice.

What changed? Only my exposure to patient, sane, calm folks who were willing to take their time and explain their opinions, their guns, and how the guns worked - and in the doing so, taught me how their minds worked. Yes, my husband or any of my gun-comfortable friends could have labeled me, dismissed me as a kook or "eh, she's a woman, you can't explain anything to your wife so don't try" ... and thereby reinforced my (erroneous) opinion of shooters as an irrational, untrustworthy sort. They didn't, I didn't cling to my inaccurate opinions, and here I am.

I can't tell you precisely how to win your wife over - you will have to figure that out based on how you have successfully influenced each other in the past, whether that's a logical debate or anecdotal evidence or simply carrying around her until she's used to the idea. But please - try. Don't label her as an enemy simply because she doesn't see it your way, or she never will.