Purplehood,Purplehood wrote:Teds787 and Hoi Polloi,
I am not sure if I read the OP correctly, but here goes:
The only REAL problem that I might have had with the whole "non-incident" with the GF is that she doesn't bring it up vocally and audibly while in the store while you are carrying. My Ex-wife and son accompany me to movies, restaurants and the like almost every weekend and both are rather vocal about their opposition to carrying. But they both understand and respect my request that they NEVER discuss the subject of firearms (especially my carrying) in front of the public.
So based on your post I am not sure if your GF violated that tenant or not. And since she appears to be a keeper, I would just clarify my position and ask that she not inadvertantly "out" you in the future.
Hoi Polloi,
I don't see discussion of this subject as the demonization of women, as this would apply to a male or female friend. If I am interpreting your take on this issue incorrectly, I apologize in advance.
I think that is a very reasonable request and I have absolutely no disagreement with the criticism that her concern should be expressed privately and not publicly (especially if it publicly outs him as a "man with a gun" as that is a potentially deadly action depending on who overhears) which I believe is a criticism TAM also recently made, especially if one would expect the same from anyone of either gender.
Telling a guy who is dating to prioritize his values and choose someone who shares his most important values is, in my opinion, wise advice. Telling him that self-defense and gun rights must be one of his top values and he must choose a woman who also has those values is, in my opinion, overstepping one's bounds, especially within the context of strangers on the internet discussing an unrelated topic. Telling a man to divorce a woman he already chose and solemnly vowed his entire life to because she privately suggested he follow his own attorney's advice was something I found very offensive. To be clear, that was handled in-thread on another thread where I expressed my opinion, others clarified that their statements were jokes and not at all intended to be meaningful advice or offensive, and we all moved forward (drinks on me!), so I by no means intend to re-address it here. I'm simply providing background for what I then brought to this thread.
In my post, which was pretty far back in the thread, I was not so much commenting on the girlfriend's response, but on the board's response to her. In my opinion, she was making a statement that many here actually agreed with but the board seemed to be really strongly disagreeing with her to the point they were telling the poster to leave her or something like that (too long ago to remember and too busy and not emotionally involved enough to look for quotes). In one case, someone posted here a disagreement and immediately posted in another thread the exact same argument as the girlfriend presented as I understood it (that the sign expresses intent, immaterial of the legalities, and ought to be respected as a moral issue, not a legal one). It seemed that the concern was actually that she expressed her opinion on this to him (publicly or privately not being an issue I saw at the time, though I agree it is a valid issue) and that was enough to focus so strongly on getting rid of her.
This thread has since moved on considerably to discuss the topic, differing priorities in relationships, her actual intent, the legalities, etc. It was the overall tone that the forum as a whole seemed to have at the time that seemed to take offense with women having divergent opinions, and even more so when they expressed them, that really surprised me. I had not seen that here before, nor have I seen it since. Perhaps there was some passing thing, either on others' side and/or my own. I consider it now a closed issue so I am not invested enough to spend time trying to analyze and figure it out. I hope this explains why I posted at the time as I did, though.
Another round on me?
