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Welcome to the forum ...

Finding the 'right' handgun to carry has been, in my case quite, an adventure. I suggest that you begin by going to a pistol range where they rent handguns. There is nothing like shooting before you buy (just like buying a car). I have three handguns: a 38 special 2" barrel (snubbie), a 9mm full size beretta, and a Kimber 45 1911. As someone suggested in an earlier post, having the right rig to carry makes the 1911 as easy to carry as the 38 special. I don't carry the 9mm but I'm glad I have it for "fun on the range". Good luck and keep posting on the forum.