TexasCHLforum.com

What a great post, chasfm11! I too have made progress with my wife.

At first she thought it was ridiculous that I was carrying, because there was no need for it. Then she would question me - why do you need to carry just to run to Jimmy Johns? Because I need to develop the habit of never leaving the house without my weapon.

When we made our trip to NC, we talked about guns and carrying in the car. I think she began to understand the issues a little better, because she began talking about what kind of gun she would like to have (light, low recoil, single action.) In NC, she asked if I was going to carry to her family's houses. I said yes. She asked, "Even around the kids?" Yes, I said. Then she began telling everyone in the family that I was carrying, so they all had to see the gun (unloaded, of course!) and the holster and discuss the issue with me. Her dad began calling me "Matt Dillon" every time he saw me. She made sure to tell each of her family members about the four rules of gun safety.

Her dad got out a few of his guns and showed them to us. He suggested my wife might like a Colt Raven (.25 auto) like the ones he has. (I told her too few rounds and no stopping power, but not in front of him.) As time passed she adjusted to the issue more and more. Several times she didn't even notice me transfer the gun from the Kingston seat holster to the Comptac and back again. Then she would ask me if I left the gun in the Kingston holster when I went into the store. I told her I would always be armed when leaving the car. That she should always assume I was armed when out of the house, because I always would be.

Now she's decided that she doesn't want to carry outside the house. She wants something to stop intruders. I'm fine with that. We've made tons of progress.

3dfxMM wrote:

So rather than take any chances, I determined that I'd better have a Texas CHL before I get to her father's house.

According to the link you provided your Texas CHL won't help one bit. The NC statutes specifically state that it must be a license issued by NC.

I thought that was what reciprocity was for.

Jim Lockey wrote:when you have been married 50 years or more you will understand, maybe.

Some times people here make me wonder. We live in one of the suburbs of Dallas and do not lock our doors during the day, but do so at night. We also lock our doors when we are gone. I sure as heck don't carry a gun in our own house, but I can get to one within 20 seconds. If we go shopping at a Sam's I do not carry any weapon. Maybe your Sam's is in a bad place?

Jimmy

No, my Sams is not in a bad place. I'm trying to develop the habit of carrying every time that I can. As many have pointed out, bad things happen in "safe" places too, so you either have to guess right or carry every time you can.

Bart wrote:

baldeagle wrote:My reading of North Carolina law was that you couldn't leave your premises with a weapon unless you had a permit. I may have read it wrong. This was early on in the process and was the impetus for getting my CHL. According to this site, I have to have a CHL before her father can even give her a gun.

NC is an unlicened open carry state so there's no problem leaving your premises with a firearm. However, it is illegal to conceal a firearm on your person in public unless you have a permit, are police, etc.

That's not exactly true.

§ 153A‑129. Firearms.

A county may by ordinance regulate, restrict, or prohibit the discharge of firearms at any time or place except when used to take birds or animals pursuant to Chapter 113, Subchapter IV, when used in defense of person or property, or when used pursuant to lawful directions of law‑enforcement officers. A county may also regulate the display of firearms on the public roads, sidewalks, alleys, or other public property. This section does not limit a county's authority to take action under Chapter 14, Article 36A. (1973, c. 822, s. 1; 2006‑264, s. 16.)

So you're at the mercy of each county when it comes to open carry. Unless you can figure out a way to open carry without using a public road, sidewalk, alley or any other public property, the rules of a particular county may restrict your open carry to your own home and personal property.

Yankee Girl wrote:Please don't consider her as an "enemy within".

I don't. The choice of title was meant to be provocative. We've been married 38 years. She is my best friend and my constant companion. I hate traveling without her, because I can't sleep when she's not beside me. This gun-totin' stuff is new to us, and it's taking some adjusting on both of our parts - first to overcome the attitude that there is something wrong with people who feel they need to carry guns all the time, and second to overcome the safety concerns.

Hey, she's going to the range with me next weekend to shoot the P239. That's a huge milestone for her. And I'm very proud of her for deciding to continue down this path even though it makes her uncomfortable at times. We've had plenty of recent discussions about how, when you get older, you become more of a target and less capable of physically defending yourself. Guns are the great equalizer, especially for her. She's only 5 feet tall. She'll come around. She's already headed in the right direction.

Went to Sams today. My first time out with a concealed weapon. When I got home, my wife's first words were, "Did you shoot anybody?"

Got lots of work to do with her.....

rm9792 wrote:

baldeagle wrote:

Warhammer wrote:.

. Initially, the reason for getting my CHL was because we're going (her family's) home to North Carolina in September, and she thought her father might give her one of his many guns. In North Carolina, we couldn't even carry the gun from his house to our car without a license. .

This would be protected under federal law regarding transport wouldnt it? No license needed? I find it hard to believe NC doesnt let you go to the range or go hunting?

My reading of North Carolina law was that you couldn't leave your premises with a weapon unless you had a permit. I may have read it wrong. This was early on in the process and was the impetus for getting my CHL. According to this site, I have to have a CHL before her father can even give her a gun.

Under North Carolina law, it is unlawful for any person, firm, or corporation to sell, give away, transfer, purchase, or receive, at any place in the state, any pistol, unless the purchaser or receiver has first obtained a license or permit to receive such a pistol by the sheriff of the county where the purchaser or receiver resides, or the purchaser or receiver possesses a valid North Carolina-issued concealed carry permit. This requirement to obtain a permit prior to the transfer of a pistol applies not only to a commercial transaction, typically at a sporting goods store, but also between private individuals or companies throughout North Carolina. N.C. Gen. Stat. § 14-402(a)

Furthermore, it's unlawful, in North Carolina, to possess a concealed weapon without a permit, and concealed is defined quite broadly.

North Carolina law strictly controls the ability of individuals to carry weapons concealed. Except under the limited concealed handgun permit provisions of state law, described in Sections III. B and III. C of this publication, it is unlawful for any person in North Carolina, except when on his or her own premises, to willfully and intentionally carry concealed, either on or about his or her person, any "Bowie Knife, dirk, dagger, slingshot, loaded cane, metallic knuckles, razor, shurikin, stungun, or other deadly weapon of like kind.” Specifically exempted from the requirements of this law are ordinary pocket knives carried in a closed position. An ordinary pocket knife is defined as being "a small knife, that is designed to be carried in a pocket or purse, which has its cutting edge and point entirely enclosed by its handle. The knife must not be capable of being opened by a throwing, explosive, or spring action." N.C. Gen. Stat. § 14-269

Whether, in a given case, a weapon is concealed from the public, is a question of fact to be resolved by a jury. By using the phrase "concealed about his or her person," this law makes it illegal to have a weapon concealed not only on a person, but also within a person's convenient control and easy reach.

So rather than take any chances, I determined that I'd better have a Texas CHL before I get to her father's house.

I've enjoyed reading all the replies. Some of you seem to have misunderstood my approach. I'm not asking my wife for permission to carry, I'm trying to get her into the thinking mode of carrying. Her response indicates that she sees no danger in me going to Sams armed, which is a typical mindset for many Americans (including myself at one time.) Secondly, I'm not questioning if I should carry. I have my license now. There is no question I will carry. I can't carry at work though (unless they pass campus carry), so I have to adjust to arming when I leave the house on short trips rather than getting used to carrying all the time.

terryg and chasfm11 seem to "get it". Like chasfm11, I get accused of being obsessed because once I decide I want to understand something I dig into it 150%, reading prodigiously, until I feel I understand the subject well enough to be confident in my opinions. Like terryg, my wife mentally acknowledges the fact that a CHL is a good thing but hasn't yet connected that to our daily lives. We are a very blessed family. We've never been in a serious accident, never had a life-threatening disease, never had a child on drugs and, most importantly, never had a bad experience where a gun might have changed the circumstances. We live in a quiet neighborhood in a low crime area, and we don't frequent places that we consider dangerous.

Yes, I know crime can happen anywhere. That's why I got my CHL. But my wife's mindset (and now to a lesser degree, mine) is why would you need a gun in Costco? No one's going to threaten you there. Besides, they have armed guards.

Changing these things takes time and patience. Trust me, I will be carrying when I go to Sams today. And my wife won't know it. But we're making progress. She's agreed to go with me to the range when the P239 comes in. That's a giant leap forward. And I've spent time explaining to her that she needs to understand how to operate my guns and be confident in her handling of them.

Texas Dan Mosby wrote:

So I asked my wife...

There's your problem right there friend.



Seriously, you don't ask her if you should wear pants, or bring money, or get gas in the car, you just do it.

Well, I wasn't asking for permission, if that's what you think. I was asking to help her adjust to the idea.

Warhammer wrote:Why would you ask her if you should carry? Just make carrying a matter-of-fact part of your everyday life.

Because I'm working on her mindset. Initially, the reason for getting my CHL was because we're going (her family's) home to North Carolina in September, and she thought her father might give her one of his many guns. In North Carolina, we couldn't even carry the gun from his house to our car without a license. Since she didn't want to get a CHL, we decided that I would get one. Now the next step is to change her (and my) mindset so that carrying becomes a way of life.

I got my CHL license in the mail today. So I asked my wife, "Should I carry to Sams tomorrow?" (We had already planned a trip there.)

Her response was, "Why would you?"

Sigh...we have a long way to go....