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Actually, my wife does have her own gun but not a CHL (working on convincing her of that, tough sell). Regarding recoil, it's true that with the adrenaline flowing one doesn't notice recoil. But, we all practice in non-confrontational settings without the adrenaline. And, I'm a firm believer in practicing regularly with what one carries or shoots. And, sharp or snappy perceived recoil will definitely reduce one's practice time. That's what I like about the XD subcompact: the weight (only 2 oz lighter) and feel is not that much different from a full size (and capacity, 13+1 with flush fitting magazine, 16 round extended magazine) which makes the perceived recoil about the same as for a full size semiauto. Slightly shorter grip which I can grip with about 1/2 of my pinky but she can grip with all three fingers. Looking forward to seeing how well she does at the range.

Not yet, she's been out of town celebrating her father's birthday. But, it fits her hand well and she says it feels good to her. Probably out to the range this weekend. I expect she'll shoot it as well as my full size...which she shoots really well. Will report back.

I've largely carried a S&W 638 snub but my wife can't shoot it because of the recoil. Recently she asked, "What if we're in a situation where you need to pass me the gun?" and said she thought I should trade it for something she could shoot as well. Needless to say, I was at the local gunshop the next day and got a great deal on a Springfield Armory XD subcompact 9 mm. Stripped and cleaned it, then took it to the range with just the flush-fitting magazine (13 rounds) and put 150 rounds FMJs and 14 rounds of Speer Gold Dot JHPs. All grouped at 7 yds less than 2" with no issues whatsoever. Shoots like my full size and essentially as concealable as my 638, just not in the front pocket. But, my wife's question was something I had not really thought about...and it was very valid and appropriate.