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Perhaps this is rationalization, but here is how I've made peace in advance with the possibility...

First, I'm not shooting to kill. I'm shooting to stop the threat. That may or may not be deadly to the attacker depending on a number of factors. In fact, gunshot victims have a decent probability of surviving their wounds these days. And in the case of someone I've shot, "victim" is probably stretch.

Secondly, I'm not the one initiating the attack. 100% of the responsibility rests on the shoulders of the attacker - regardless of the outcome. I'm only doing what I have to do to survive. No more, and no less.

Now, I'm not so cold-blooded as to think that it wouldn't bother me in the least if I shot and killed an attacker. I think I would probably find the whole experience to be fairly distressing. But from a morality standpoint, I would be OK with it once a little time had passed.