Teds787, you have a girlfriend. For how long now? I have a wife of over 22 years, whom I dated for over a year before we married. The Annoyed Woman and I are still quite happy together, and we still hold hands in public. I can tell you for a certain fact that it is critical to a healthy long term relationship that both parties to it see eye to eye on the most important issues in life. Now, you could both belong to different political parties and be fine. Or, one of you could be a couch potato and the other an athlete and you'd still be fine. Or you like football and she likes soccer, and you'll still be find. But the right to preserve one's own life, and the right to the means by which to preserve it are kind of core issues that I don't see contributing to a long term relationship unless both parties believe the same thing about it.teds787 wrote:Sorry. It's been a while since I checked on this thread.
The last few posts look like kind of counter-thoughts to the "demonizing of women who don't have the exact same thoughts as you". As the OP, it seemed to me that my girlfriend was not suggesting that we not shop at Whole Foods because of the sign. It felt more like she wanted me to see the situation the same as she did and we should continue to shop at Whole Foods and I should leave my gun in the car, or better yet, at home. This, to me, felt like someone else trying to push their beliefs on me. I love the woman, I really do. But I do not concede to her beliefs or her every wish and whim. Nor do I dump her when she doesn't concede to mine. There were a few of you who said I should dump her and get myself a "good woman". I would say a good woman is one who knows and sticks to her beliefs regardless of what her man believes, says, or does. If she feels so strongly about me not carrying in Whole Foods that she wants to dump ME over it, then so be it.
All that said... I'd like to present a different counter-thought to the "demonizing of women who don't have the exact same thoughts as you". I'm pretty sure that every human being thinks that every other human being should believe the way they do. It is not gender specific. Statements like "if they post their business they will not get any of my money" and "She would not be my girlfriend for very long" are boycott statements meant to enlighten or encourage someone else in the direction of true wisdom... "MY wisdom".
You can hold on to your own ideals or you can take up someone else's. There's a cost on either side of that coin. Each of us has to choose which price we are willing to pay.
Teds787
Here is why I think that. You partner (and this goes for both men and women) may certainly hold his/her own life cheaply enough that they don't want to ever carry a gun. That is certainly that partner's right. We may think that is foolishness, but at least they are being foolish about their own life. But if that same partner holds your life cheaply enough that they don't want you to carry a gun because some nameless, faceless corporation has a non-compliant sign on their doors, then how much does that partner love you, cherish you, and hold you in high esteem - particularly the "till death do you part" part? The Bible (and you don't have to be a religious person for this to make sense) says that we should not be unequally yoked in our marriages. Read that as "relationships" if you like. That means that things work best when we pull together as a team, holding the same values, and believing in the same basic truths.
Now, I'm not trying to beat up on her. I'm sure she's a very pleasant young woman. But, her words and her actions say that she would rather see you shot dead in the market parking lot than to see you refuse to cooperate with a non-compliant sign. Now, I realize that I am over-stating the proposition a bit, but do you get my drift?
On page one of this thread, I responded to you thusly:
What I can tell you is that my wife of 22+ years, who is by no means a submissive woman (she carries a Glock 19), would never disrespect me and mock me - particularly in public - if she disagreed with me. She would wait until we got home, and then we'd have that discussion and deal with whatever it was. Same for me toward her. I respect her far to much to make fun of her that way over what is a fundamentally core issue disagreement.The Annoyed Man wrote:She makes fun of you? Sounds like a keeper.teds787 wrote:I agree that the US is a pretty safe place, but then I say, "Complacency is a very bad idea." and, "I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it." So, she makes fun of me and I carry.
Ted S
[teds787]That last item doesn't bode well for your relationship, nor does her lecturing you about what you should or shouldn't do when you haven't asked her opinion. Liberals presume much.
Just my 2¢.
So when others tell you stuff like "dump her and get a good woman," yes, they are overstepping their bounds a bit, but that said, their initial instincts are spot on. If the two of you are just "friends with benefits," then who cares about the long term prognosis? But if you two are really serious about one another, then showing each other a little respect (which cuts both ways) is going to be absolutely necessary to a healthy long term relationship... ...which hopefully will see you get married and raise family together. If that is the goal, then until she shows that kind of respect instead of mocking you in public, your long term relationship prospects are dim....
....unless you're some kind of masochist.
I sincerely hope I have not offended. That was not my intention. I'm actually a hopeless romantic, and if this girl means the world to you, then I really do hope that things do work out for the two of you.