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You are probably going to get some negative feedback on carrying a .22. My wife has trouble with large caliber pistols, so I understand your dilemma. I had rather you have a .22 than nothing at all, but a bigger caliber would be much more likely to take down a BG if the situation ever arises. With a .22 you may only cause minor damage and not stop a potential assailant in time to avoid them doing you harm.

That being said, have you tried a .380? And have you tried larger frame guns? The heavier the gun, the smaller the recoil.