I'm glad everything worked out OK in the end for you and your family. I agree with those that say it is easy to Monday Morning QB your actions, but discussing this type of scenario is very helpful to all of us, because as more than one member has posted, we tend to react to situations in the manner that we've rehearsed, whether that be physically and mentally or just mentally. Lots of very good advice and discussion. I especially like the advice about the use of headlights and horn.
To throw my $0.02 in (I'm new to CCW but have been studying and teaching unarmed self defense for over 30 years). First, make sure you unbuckle your seat belt as soon as you put your car in park. Also, if at all possible, get on the phone with 911 as soon as you perceive a threat (preferably your wife in your situation but yourself if you are alone). This not only enables the police to get there sooner if need be but also gets a recording of the event as it transpires. Have the person on the phone provide detailed descriptions of the car, drive and driver's actions.
With regards to the backing up and turning around option, a lot of that depends on the circumstances. While this may have been your best option, once the other driver had left his vehicle, the opportunity to retreat safely narrowed significantly. By exiting the vehicle, he presented at least the perception of hostile intent. Most residential streets require one to at least execute a three point turn in order to U turn, if not more depending on how narrow the street is, if there are other cars parked on the street and the turning radius of one's vehicle. In order to turn around, one would have to expose the passenger side of one's car to other driver. The OP has no way of knowing if the other driver is armed or not, and attempting a U turn while the other driver is already out of his car would expose passengers to the potential of gunfire from the other driver. Even if he was not armed, if he chose to attack the vehicle's occupants, the passengers would be his nearest victims during a U turn attempt. Think of the actions of the angry motorcyclists in NYC a couple of months back. Even after they dragged the driver out of the car and started beating him, some of the bikers went after the wife.
Excalibur's comments about perception and memory are spot on and not only illustrate challenges to situational awareness under stress but also the problems with eye witness testimony. Not only is our perception of events around us selective, our memories are not fixed, but rather, change over time and can be influenced by new information (true or false) suggested after an event has been perceived.
From a tactical perspective, I think stopping the threat before he advanced all the way to your vehicle was sound. However, it may be safer
legally to wait until he is actually banging on your window before warning him off by stating that one is armed. Any legal scholars care to weigh in on this.
http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/D ... 9.htm#9.04
http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/D ... 9.htm#9.31
I considered that, but the OP stated that he had traffic stopped behind him. If he had room to back up, he may also have had room to back up and execute a three point turn in reverse, which would have kept the threat on the driver's side of the car. It's good to consider all of these options before finding oneself in a similar situation, because it is much harder to clearly plan a response when under stress from an immediate threat.