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The Annoyed Man wrote:No, the beard just frightens small dogs and children. And you grew the beard because you're a man. It's what men do.

Despite the lesser value of the beard than I believed, I may not shave it off...at least not just yet. Where's that Honest Amish Classic Beard Oil when you need it?

Are you sure that doesn't frighten zombies?

The Annoyed Man wrote:

anygunanywhere wrote:Love the hat.

Thank you. Men want one like it. Women want to be with it. Zombies fear it. I haven't been bothered by a zombie in ages.

And here, all this time, I thought it was the beard that was the zombie frightener. So I started growing one for no reason?